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Uncle Andy's Digest - August 2023

Rain rain GO AWAY! This years summer weather may be wet behind the ears, but you can always count on the Digest to bring the sunshine. Enjoy the August 2023 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.

Rain rain GO AWAY! This years summer weather may be wet behind the ears, but you can always count on the Digest to bring the sunshine. Enjoy the August 2023 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.

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Old Snake<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

An old snake goes to<br />

see his Doctor. “Doc, I<br />

need something for my<br />

eyes... I can’t see well<br />

these days.”<br />

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe,<br />

but if you remove it, you get…. Gravy.<br />

Hours<br />

Mon.-Fri. 9am-8pm Sat. & Sun. 9am-3pm<br />

Massage, facials and body treatments<br />

The Doc fixes him up<br />

with a pair of glasses<br />

and tells him to return<br />

in two weeks.<br />

The snake comes back<br />

in two weeks and tells<br />

the doctor he’s very<br />

depressed.<br />

Doc says, “What’s the<br />

problem... didn’t the<br />

glasses help you?”<br />

“The glasses are fine<br />

Doc, I just discovered<br />

I’ve been living with a<br />

water hose the past<br />

two years!”<br />

An Open<br />

Window<br />

Submitted by Trevor Saunders<br />

Janet went to her doctor<br />

for a follow-up visit<br />

and he asked, “Have<br />

you been sleeping by<br />

an open window, like I<br />

advised you to do?”<br />

“Yes, just like you said,<br />

doc,” Janet replied.<br />

“And, is the bronchitis<br />

gone now?”<br />

Janet answered, “Not<br />

yet, so far the only<br />

things gone are my<br />

laptop and cellphone.”<br />

Tell them you saw<br />

their ad in the <strong>Digest</strong>!<br />

The Right<br />

Coverage at the<br />

Right Price.<br />

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Gift Certificates Available<br />

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essencewellnessspa.com 207-539-5128<br />

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681 Sabattus St | Lewiston, ME 04240<br />

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Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 11a-6p • Fri. 11a-7p • Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p<br />

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207-657-3474<br />

59c Portland Road, Gray<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

22 <strong>August</strong> <strong>2023</strong><br />

I sent my hearing aids in for repair 3 weeks ago. I haven’t heard anything since.

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