Uncle Andy's Digest - August 2023
Rain rain GO AWAY! This years summer weather may be wet behind the ears, but you can always count on the Digest to bring the sunshine. Enjoy the August 2023 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
Rain rain GO AWAY! This years summer weather may be wet behind the ears, but you can always count on the Digest to bring the sunshine. Enjoy the August 2023 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
Picnic Plans<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Three turtles, Jack,<br />
Joe, and James, decided<br />
to go for a picnic.<br />
Now, as we all know,<br />
turtles are remarkably<br />
slow, so by the time<br />
everything was organized<br />
- sandwiches,<br />
drinks, fruit - three<br />
days had all ready<br />
gone past.<br />
They started to a place<br />
by the river where they<br />
were going to have<br />
their picnic.<br />
Three weeks later,<br />
they arrive, and they<br />
were really tired. Jack<br />
suggested to open the<br />
picnic basket and get a<br />
drink. So they opened<br />
the basket and found a<br />
bottle of cola. Unfortunately,<br />
they didn’t<br />
have the bottle opener<br />
with them; they left it at<br />
home.<br />
Jack asked Joe if<br />
he’d go back to get it<br />
for them. He refused,<br />
saying it was a long<br />
journey back.<br />
They asked, and<br />
asked, and eventually,<br />
he agreed on the<br />
condition that Jack and<br />
James didn’t touch<br />
the food while he was<br />
gone. As hungry as<br />
they were, they agreed<br />
to Joe’s condition, and<br />
off he went.<br />
Two days later, still no<br />
Joe, a week later, still<br />
no Joe.<br />
(continued on next page)<br />
Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Smoking bacon will cure it.<br />
165 High Street, Auburn<br />
villageinnmaine.com<br />
Open wed.-Sun.<br />
Check out our<br />
• Weekly specials<br />
• The Port Side Lounge<br />
• The Captain’s Room<br />
• The Skylight Room<br />
Our menu has<br />
something<br />
everyone can<br />
enjoy<br />
Roy’s<br />
FOODLAND<br />
SATURDAY<br />
Beans, bread/rolls &<br />
cole slaw<br />
$11.99<br />
WEDNESDAY<br />
Ham, Veggie, Salami,<br />
or Pepperoni Italians<br />
$2.99<br />
Now hiring wait staff & bartender!<br />
PIZZA PACKS<br />
Pizza<br />
Packs<br />
$12.99<br />
We have more than seafood!<br />
Our prime rib & chicken parm are fan favorites.<br />
You won’t leave hungry!<br />
The Village Inn<br />
Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our <strong>2023</strong> specials!<br />
Get your<br />
BBQ meats<br />
here<br />
70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471<br />
www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com<br />
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed<br />
We Do Declare<br />
Pineapple DOES<br />
go on Pizza!<br />
Come try it for yourself!<br />
Still not convinced?<br />
We have tons of other pizza flavors!<br />
85 Center Street<br />
207-784-8221<br />
Open 11-9p Daily<br />
Best Chicken &<br />
Ham Salad<br />
IN THE WORLD!<br />
Try our hamburger,<br />
it’s the best!<br />
Beanie Babies<br />
on Sale Here!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
24 <strong>August</strong> <strong>2023</strong><br />
Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.
Change language