Redeeming-Love-By-Francine-Rivers

R E D E E M I N G L O V E
She kept on in that quiet, agonized voice. “Mama’s parents were decent
people in a good neighborhood. They wouldn’t take her in, not with an illegitimate
child. Even her church turned her away.” The blanket fell open, and
Michael stared down at the reddened marks on her skin. There were lines of
red where she had torn at her own flesh.
Jesus, why are you doing this to me?
It was easier retreating into anger than seeing into her tortured soul.
“We ended up on the docks,” she said, emotionless now. “She became a
prostitute. When the men left, she’d drink herself to sleep while Rab went
out and drank the money away. She wasn’t very pretty anymore. She died
when I was eight.” She looked up at him. “Smiling.” Her own mouth
curved. “So you see. It is true. I shouldn’t have been born. It was all a terrible
mistake from the beginning.”
Michael sat down heavily, tears at the surface again, but not for himself
this time. “What happened to you then?”
She bowed her head and clasped her hands tightly together. She didn’t
look at him. It was a long, heavy silence before she spoke very quietly. “Rab
sold me to a brothel. Duke has a thing for little girls.”
Michael shut his eyes.
She looked up at him. Of course he was repulsed. What man wouldn’t
be at the thought of a child fornicating with a grown man? “That was just
the beginning,” she said dully, lowering her head, unable to look at him.
“You can’t even begin to imagine what happened from there. Things done to
me. Things I did.” She didn’t tell him it was a matter of survival. What did it
matter? She had chosen to obey.
He looked at her through his tears. “You think you’re to blame for all of
it, don’t you?”
“Who else? Mama? She loved my father. She loved me. She loved God. A
lot of good love ever did her. How can I blame her for anything, Michael?
Should I blame Rab? He was just a poor, dull-witted drunk who thought he
was doing the best for me. They killed him. Right there in the room, in front
of me, because he knew too much.” She shook her head. He didn’t have to
know everything.
“You’re not to blame, Amanda.”
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