Uncle Andy's Digest - January 2024
The snow has arrived, along with the New Year's January 2024 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. You'll find the best of what local businesses have to offer, and as always, you'll find great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
The snow has arrived, along with the New Year's January 2024 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. You'll find the best of what local businesses have to offer, and as always, you'll find great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
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May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.<br />
Now taking inquiries for February <strong>2024</strong> Course Enrollment<br />
WELDING ACADEMY<br />
Learn a new trade! This high-demand field includes jobs<br />
in Aerospace, Automotive, Manufacturing, Agriculture<br />
and Construction industries as well as jobs in the rapidly<br />
growing renewable energy sector. The course covers a<br />
variety of welding techniques, including MIG and TIG<br />
welding, industry-standard weld joints, print reading,<br />
basic metallurgy, sheet metal forming, tube welding, and<br />
grinding and polishing.<br />
GRANT<br />
FUNDING<br />
PROVIDED BY:<br />
WWW.CMCC.EDU/WORKFORCEDEVELOPMENT<br />
workforcedevelopment@cmcc.edu • 207-755-5280<br />
Central Maine Community College does not discriminate and is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer.<br />
For more information, please call 207-755-5396 or email humanresources@cmcc.edu.<br />
My New Year’s resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose<br />
between 10 and 3,000 pounds.<br />
THE AMERICAN LEGION<br />
FAMILY<br />
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays<br />
and get a surprise!<br />
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”<br />
Members & Guests Welcome!<br />
AMERICAN LEGION ACT<br />
Veterans who were honorably discharged<br />
but whose service did not fall into previously<br />
defined war eras may now join<br />
the American Legion immediately. The<br />
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,<br />
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at<br />
war, as determined by Congress.<br />
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on<br />
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”<br />
For Veteran or Community services, call<br />
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229<br />
UAD <strong>January</strong> <strong>2024</strong> page TBD<br />
Hall Rentals Available<br />
Call for more<br />
information<br />
207-782-1118<br />
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118<br />
HOURS: Monday - Thursday: 12pm-8pm • Friday: 12pm-11pm<br />
Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm<br />
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS<br />
FRIDAYS 7-11pm in <strong>January</strong><br />
Jerry Joe - <strong>January</strong> 12th, & 26th • 4:30 - 6:30pm<br />
SONS MEETING DATE - 1/8/24 AT 5:30PM<br />
BREAKFAST BUFFET - SUNDAY JANUARY 21ST<br />
Scrambled eggs, sausage gravy, sausage, Bacon, baked beans, home fries, crepes,<br />
toast/creton, coffee, & juice.<br />
Adults $10 • Kids Under 10 $5<br />
SATURDAY JANUARY 27TH- PORKLOIN DINNER 3-6PM<br />
Mashed potatoes, veggies, dinner roll, salad, & dessert.<br />
Adults $12 • Kids Under 10 $8<br />
JOIN US SUNDAYS FOR NFL & GOOD TIMES!<br />
Bloody Marys with Kevin<br />
HAPPY NEW YEAR<br />
MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17 TH , <strong>2024</strong><br />
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 7PM<br />
Legion Members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25<br />
“I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder,<br />
but still none the wiser.” —Robert Paul<br />
FREE<br />
TRAINING<br />
(continued from previous page)<br />
I won’t have a cookie,<br />
not even a lick. I’ll want<br />
only to chew on a long<br />
celery stick.<br />
I won’t have hot biscuits,<br />
or corn bread,<br />
or pie, I’ll munch on a<br />
carrot and quietly cry.<br />
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome,<br />
and life is a<br />
bore, but isn’t that what<br />
<strong>January</strong> is for?<br />
Unable to giggle, no<br />
longer a riot. Happy<br />
New Year to all and to<br />
all a good diet!<br />
Smart Kid<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
One day a little girl was<br />
sitting and watching her<br />
mother do the dishes at<br />
the kitchen sink.<br />
She suddenly noticed<br />
that her mother had several<br />
strands of white hair<br />
sticking out in contrast to<br />
her brunette head.<br />
She looked at her<br />
mother and inquisitively<br />
asked, “Why are some<br />
of your hairs white,<br />
Mom?”<br />
Her mother replied,<br />
“Well, every time that<br />
you do something wrong<br />
and make me cry or unhappy,<br />
one of my hairs<br />
turns white.”<br />
The little girl thought<br />
about this revelation for<br />
a while and then said,<br />
“Mom, how come ALL<br />
of grandma’s hairs are<br />
white?”<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 13
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