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<strong>true</strong> <strong>hallucinations</strong>.<strong>htm</strong><br />
sat and Dennis raved. Without his glasses, his eyes were wild, piercing, and unsettling to look into. Since the night of<br />
his shamanic ramble, I had formed the intention not to sleep but to stand watch constantly with him day and night. For the next nine days I<br />
neither slept nor needed sleep. Though I know that such cases are on record, for years afterward I took my lack of a need for sleep for nine<br />
days as the most solid argument for the reality of the forces with which we experimented. Not only did I not need to sleep, but I was<br />
constantly thinking in a rich, calm, image-filled way that made my normal thought process seem a pale and jerkily animated shadow. This<br />
mental power continued throughout the sleepless period and long afterward.<br />
The time that we were moving through seemed made of the reflections of what had preceded it and what was to follow. The first night of my<br />
decision not to sleep, March 6, was passed in deep reverie and a growing amazement that I was actually functioning without any apparent<br />
need of sleep. In the last of the darkness before dawn, at a time I felt matched exactly the time when we performed the experiment two days<br />
before, I heard Dennis stir in his hammock inside the hut. Then I heard him make, low but strong and clear, the same undulating howl that had<br />
catapulted us into a new world forty-eight hours before. Three times it sounded, just as something in my mind assured me that it would.<br />
The last howl was drawn out as before; it rose and fell for perhaps a minute. Then, as it faded away, I again heard the cock's crow drifting<br />
across the whitening air from the mission. Why did things happen with such symmetry, as though a huge, ordered form was trying to surface<br />
in the very organization of the reality around us? Sunrise flamed across the sky and another of those titanic days began. The thing in my mind<br />
stirred to meet the challenges to reason that charged each new moment. All that remains of those times are images and incidents, only<br />
metaphors acting as sustained themes. All was myth-making and image-making, mercurial, meta-leveled, ever-flowing.<br />
CHAPTER THIRTEEN<br />
AT PLAY IN THE FIELDS OF THE LORD<br />
In which Dennis and I explore the contents of our mutual illusions and illuminations.<br />
The MORNING OF THE SEVENTH, Ev returned with Dave and Vanessa to the river, and for the first time in two days Dennis and I were<br />
alone. The atmosphere was one of calm. I busied myself sorting through and arranging the equipment. Our campsite was again spic and span.<br />
Dennis alternated between calmness and long harangues on a supra-cosmic scale as in The Starmaker of Olaf Stapleton. He imitated,<br />
personified, described, and otherwise invoked immense Gnostic and Manichaean entities that were struggling on a cosmic scale. The ageless<br />
struggle between good and evil was being enacted as a fourth dimensional comic book in the labyrinth of his mind. But he was not without<br />
humor, occasionally moaning out that he felt "like an old Mandaean," then collapsing with laughter at this cleverness.<br />
I sat in my hammock and verbally participated as much as I could in all of this, though it was clear that Dennis had no difficulty in<br />
maintaining the conversation on his own. In fact, he seemed to have hit the main vein of the fountain of sprung verse.<br />
I closed my eyes for a moment and there, fully formed beneath my eyelids, was the first of what I considered to be teachings or messages. It<br />
was a beautiful, recursive geometric form with four "petals." The voice in my mind informed me that this was "the valentine curve."<br />
Obviously the four petals of the curve looked somewhat like a valentine or a bleeding heart. I thought for an instant of the heart-shaped fruit I<br />
had fashioned into a water pipe. No obvious connection... the image slid. I got my notebook and drew the valentine curve, at first crudely,<br />
later much more smoothly. It made me think of Basil Valentine, a fifteenth-century alchemist and author of The Triumphal Chariot of<br />
Antimony. I had read the book, but could remember virtually nothing about it. I thought too of Valentinius, the Alexandrian Gnostic of the<br />
second century, and his doctrine that the material world was the condensed emotion of the errant Sophia, who had selfishly created a universe<br />
without undergoing any union except with herself. The concrescence of the anguish of the Sophia, the lowest of the Archons, into the physical<br />
world was an idea closely related to our own alchemical efforts. The condensation of emotion into matter; that theme was hair-raising. It was<br />
the theme that had brought us to the Amazon. Alchemy was the gnosis of material transformation. Glues seemed everywhere; everything was<br />
webbed together in a magical fabric of meaning and affirmation and mystery.<br />
During that day and the days that followed, thoughts and ideas of all sorts formed in my mind unbidden and would lead inevitably to some<br />
further expansion of the set of themes that we had organized our lives around. One of those themes that was seized upon and amplified, at first<br />
slowly and then more rapidly, radically and inclusively, was the set of ideas and relationships contained in the / Ching, the Chinese oracle.<br />
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