Early Childhood - Connecticut State Department of Education

Social-Emotional Competence and Family Relations Chapter 10
must provide a variety of experiences in large and
small groups that encourage children to exercise these
social skills in supportive settings. Young children
are developing a social understanding and becoming
socially competent. Social skills include the ability to:
• express wishes and preferences clearly;
• assert own rights and needs appropriately;
• express frustrations and anger effectively and
without escalating disagreements or harming
others;
• gain access to ongoing groups at play and
work;
• take turns fairly easily;
• show interest in others;
Children today experience multiple images and experiences
that are conflicting and overwhelming. Television,
radio, magazines and other media bombard us
with violent stories of aggression and disputes whether
we are in our homes, in line at the supermarket or
in our cars. Children are encouraged to “play nice,”
yet simultaneously to stand up for themselves (Levin,
1994). Little time exists for children to play in their
neighborhoods, where many problem-solving abilities
were learned in the past (Pirtle 1997). Children
must be taught problem-solving skills in prepared and
structured environments where positive and negative
behaviors can be expressed in caring settings.
Guiding children to express positive emotions involves
the following skills:
• Support children in discussing the problem.
Guide children in answering questions such
as: What toys are involved? What did you do?
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS
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• exchange information with and request
information from others appropriately; and
• interact nonverbally with other children with
smiles, waves, nods, etc. (McClellan & Katz,
2001)
These skills take time to develop and must be
rehearsed by young children so they can become aware
of the effects their actions have on others. Repeated
experiences with positive outcomes, guidance from
teachers and maturity all contribute to success in the
social-emotional domain. One of the best practices in
building children’s social-emotional skills is to encourage
children’s play.
What did the other child do? How are people feeling?
What do you want to happen?
• Encourage children to recognize the needs
and feelings of all people involved in a dispute.
• Model language that describes feelings and
events until children can comfortably use
appropriate language by themselves.
• Brainstorm with children about possible solutions
so everyone feels OK about the resolution.
• Accept children’s ideas even if they don’t
seem totally fair, especially if all are in
agreement. The goal is for children to rely
on their own abilities to negotiate and solve
problems.
• Allow children to try out their new problem-solving
skills.