The Adventures of Jonathan Gullible - Bastiat Institute

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Chapter 20 • Bored of Digestion
The buildings are falling apart – fi lth and graffi ti are everywhere.
Morale is low, the food is bland, and the Board of Digestion decides
the menu.”
“That’s the worst part,” exclaimed Grandpa. “They try to please
their friends and nobody’s ever satisfi ed. You should have seen the
fi ght over noodles and rice. Noodles and rice, day in and day out for
decades. Then the spud lobby organized their campaign for bread
and potatoes. Remember that?” he said, nodding to his wife. “When
potato lovers fi nally got their people on the Board that was the last
we ever heard of noodles and rice.”
Davy made a choking sound. Peeking out from behind his
grandmother’s skirt, Davy’s nose crinkled in disgust. “I hate
potatoes, Grandma.”
“Better eat them, dear, or the Nutrient Offi cers will get you.”
“Nutrient Offi cers?” asked Jonathan.
“Shhh!” said Grandpa placing a fi nger to his lips. He looked
over his shoulder and then down the street to see if anyone was
watching. “Those who avoid politically approved foods usually
fall into the hands of the Nutrient Offi cers. Kids call them ‘nutes’
for short. Nutes closely monitor attendance at meals and they hunt
for anyone who fails to show up. Nutrient delinquents are taken to
special detention cafeterias for forced feeding.”
Davy shuddered, “But couldn’t we just eat at home? Grandma’s
cooking is the best!”
“It’s not allowed, dear,” said Rose patting Davy on the head.
“A few people have special permits, but Grandpa Milton and I
don’t have the specifi ed training. And we can’t afford the elaborate
kitchen facilities that would meet their requirements. You see, Davy,
the Lords believe that they care more for your needs than Grandpa
and I do.”
“Besides,” added Grandpa, “We both have to work in order to
pay the taxes for all of this.” Grandpa Milton paced around the
porch, half talking to himself and grumbling. “They tell us that we
now have a lower digester-to-cook ratio than at any time in history,
though half of the population is functionally malnourished. The
original plan to give better nutrition to the poor has ended with
poor nutrition for all. Some misfi ts have refused to eat and seem on
the verge of starvation, even though their food is free. Worse yet,