The Adventures of Jonathan Gullible - Bastiat Institute

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Chapter 23 • The World’s Oldest Profession
“Would you like to know your future, young sir?” she asked,
approaching him.
Jonathan looked suspiciously at this voluptuous woman wearing
vividly coloured scarves and heavy jewellery. He quickly checked
his pockets, though he had nothing more to lose.
She continued aggressively, “I have the gift of foresight. Perhaps
you’d like a glimpse of tomorrow to calm your fears of the
future?”
“Can you really see into the future?” asked Jonathan backing off
as far as he could without offending her. He regarded this brazen
woman with deep suspicion.
“Well,” she replied, her eyes fl ashed with confi dence, “I study
the signs and then I declare, affi rm, and profess whatever I see to be
true. Oh yes, mine is surely the world’s oldest profession.”
“Fortune-teller?” remarked Jonathan, surprised at the claim. “Do
you use a crystal ball or tea leaves or ........”
“Beelzebub, no!” snorted the woman with disgust. “I’ve become
much more sophisticated. Nowadays I use charts and calculations.”
With a deep bow she added, “Economist at your service.”
“How impressive. E-con-o-mist,” he repeated slowly, rolling the
long word over his tongue. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been robbed and I
don’t have any money to pay you.”
She looked annoyed and turned away to look for other
prospective clients.
“Please ma’am, could you tell me one thing,” pleaded Jonathan,
“even though I don’t have anything to pay you?”
“Well?” said the woman, irritably.
“When do people usually come to you for advice?”
She looked around to see if anyone might overhear them. Then
she whispered, “Because you have no money to pay me, I can let
you in on a little secret. Clients come whenever they need to feel
secure about the future. Whether the forecast is bright or gloomy –
especially when it’s gloomy – it makes people feel better when they
can cling to someone else’s prediction.”
“And who pays for your predictions?” asked Jonathan.