The Adventures of Jonathan Gullible - Bastiat Institute

Chapter 25
The Applausometer
lone spotlight cast a circle of light on the empty platform and
A the audience began to murmur. Someone began to clap rhythmically
and soon the crowd joined in. The whole place reverberated
with excitement and noise. At last, a robust fi gure with slick,
jet-black hair, leaped onto the platform. He wore a glittering gold
sequined suit and the silliest smile that Jonathan had ever seen. The
man bounded back and forth like a cat across the stage as he greeted
the excited crowd.
“Welcome, welcome, welcome! I’m Showman Phil and I’m
thrilled to have you wonderful people here with me today on our
show. And what a show we have for you, too. Later we’ll be talking
to – you guessed it – the Candidate!” Scantily clad women standing
on both sides of the stage started waving their hands wildly, and the
whole crowd broke into thunderous applause.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. First, I have a
very, very, very special treat for you. We have none other than the
Chairperson of the Corrumpo Election Commission here with us
to explain the revolutionary new election procedures that we’ve all
been hearing about.” At this point, the host turned and, with a grand
sweep of his arm up stage, yelled, “Will you all please welcome
Doctor Julia Pavlov!”
The stagehands and the crowd again clapped wildly, cheering
and whistling their excitement. Showman Phil shook Dr. Pavlov’s
hand and signalled for silence. “Well, well, Dr. Pavlov, you certainly
seem to have built quite a following over the years.”
“Thank you Phil,” she said. Dr. Pavlov wore thick spectacles, a
stiff grey suit, and a look of calm assurance on her squarish face.
“I’d say it’s about 5.3 enthusiasm.”
“Hey, hey, you’ve got me there,” said the host. The stage
assistants fl ashed a sign to the audience and they all let out a slight