The Adventures of Jonathan Gullible - Bastiat Institute

Chapter 11
Power Sale
husky, jolly woman bore down on Jonathan as he stood won-
A dering where to go next. Without hesitation, she grabbed his
right hand and began to pump it vigorously. “How do you do? Isn’t
it a fi ne day?” she said at rapid-fi re speed, still working his hand
with her meaty arm. “I’m Lady Bess Tweed, your friendly neighbourhood
representative on the Council of Lords, and I would be
most grateful to have your contribution and your vote for my reelection
to offi ce and there you have it; that is the pressing situation
for our fi ne community.”
“Really?” said Jonathan. The speed and force of her speech
knocked Jonathan back a step. He had never met a person who
could say so many words in one breath.
“Oh yes,” continued Lady Tweed, barely listening to his reply,
“and I am willing to pay you well, oh yes, I am willing to pay you,
you can’t ask for a better deal, and how about that?”
“Pay me for a contribution and a vote?” asked Jonathan with a
puzzled look.
“Of course, I can’t give you cash – that would be illegal, a bribe
– say no more, say no more!” said Lady Tweed, winking slyly at
him and poking him in the ribs with her elbow. She continued, “But
I can give you something just as good as cash and worth many
times the amount of your contribution to me. It’s as easy as priming
a pump. A few bills in my palm right now and you can expect a
gusher of goodies later. That’s what I’ll do and how about that?”
“That would be nice,” replied Jonathan, who could see she
wasn’t listening to him anyway.
“What’s your occupation? I can arrange assistance – loans or
licenses or subsidies or tax breaks. I can ruin your competitors with
rules and regulations and inspections and fees. So you can see, there
is no better investment in the world than a well-placed politician.