The Green caldron - University Library

16 The Green Caldron
rich, and Napoleon Bonaparte. (Regarding Bonaparte, you'll avoid compli-
cations if you tell this only to yourself.)
Rule 2 : Radiate energy and vitality
No one responds to a negative idea. Always think and act positively. When
you enter a room, move fast. Slap people on the back unexpectedly. Grip
their lapels. Poke them forcefully with your forefinger to emphasize points.
If you have no point to emphasize, poke them anyway. Let them know you're
there.
! !
First impressions will last for years, and the quickest way to make a first
impression is to develop a dynamic handshake—one that people will remember.
If you're so feeble that your normal grip feels like a half-pound of beef liver,
be ingenious. Conceal in the palm of your hand an electric buzzer or warm
chocolate bar. Such a tactful gesture will never fail to make a lasting impres-
sion on that prospective client.
Rule 3 : Always talk down to people
This rule is a "must" for the truly self-confident person. Talking down to
people puts them in their place. It is a cinch that you don't have enough intelligence
or wit to talk down to people intellectually ; consequently, talk down
to them physically. When you get into a conversation, stand on a chair. You'd
be surprised how this simple device will give you a sense of power and author-
ity, especially if you punctuate your monologue w4th potent expressions like
"Get it? Don't interrupt! Pay attention!" and "Paste that in your pipe and
smoke it!" Practice this method of positive speaking constantly. It will de-
velop your self-assurance, vocabulary, and sense of balance.
you elected to the Senate.
It may also get
Rule 4 : Make other people feel insecure !
An attitude of unmitigated sincerity is essential to Rule 4. First, study
ever}'one with whom you come in contact, and then point out their weaknesses
to them, frankly and honestly. For instance, here is how the rule works : be-
fore getting down to business with that prospective client, set the stage. Tell
the prospect that he should do something about the unsightly hair in his ears.
Point out that his vest is in bad taste, and mention that wearing a tight belt
merely emphasizes his protruding stomach, instead of concealing it. Suggest
a dentist who could certainly make him a set of more natural looking bridge-
work. Make a joke about the amount of dandruff you can see on his head from
your vantage point (you, of course, are standing on your chair: Rule 3). He
may throw you out of his office, but he will admire your poise and self-assur-
ance.
You now know the secrets that will give you access to the untapped reser-
voirs of vitality and self-reliance. If, until today, you have been worried because
you were unsuccessful, had no friends, and didn't know why, you may
now change all this by merely putting these four fool-proof rules to work.