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THE Green Caldron is published four times a year by the Rhetoric Staff at the University of Illinois. Material is chosen from themes and examinations written by freshmen in the Uni- versity. Permission to publish is obtained for all full themes, including those published anonymously. Parts of themes, however, are published at the discretion of the committee in charge. Members of the committee in charge of The Green Caldron are R. P. Armato, Robert Bain, Thomas Boyle, Mary Trippet, and William McQueen, chairman. Published by Harris W. Wilson
The Drag Race Jacqueline Vavra Rhetoric 101, Theme 2 ^^Xy/HO PUT THE MEN IN MENTHOL SMOKING?" ''SO yy fresh and pure . . . ." "Break those chains . . . step up, step up . . ." "Like a balmy day in the month of May . . . ." "A quarter inch away . . . ." "Extra margin. Extra margin." "Welcome aboard!" My head is spinning. I gag on my cigarette. Which brand am I smoking? Who knows? Insidious jingles are penetrating my formerly placid mind. I try so hard to ignore the nasty televised cigarette commercials which in- vade my living room, but I cannot succeed. I glance sheepishly at the T.V. Another one is coming; I can sense it. She is a beautiful girl. She is the young sophisticate leaning carelessly against the scrubby bark of a spring shower-soaked tree. She is seemingly unconcerned about the grime she is getting on her cashmere co-ordinate outfit from Peck and Peck. After all, it's just another rag. He is a handsome lad. He is Mr. All American Boy—football hero, country club charmer, young intellectual, and clean-shaven (both face and head) Ivy Leaguer. One would think that when such an ideal male meets such an ideal female and spring is in the air a chemical reaction would occur. However, they barely notice each other. Both are much too concerned with the cigarettes they are smoking. Romantic music is heard in the background. Both inhale their cigarettes deeply. A tender smile plays around the mouth of the girl. The boy looks peaceful. Each seems to be sharing a special secret with the cigarette he smokes. I sit by the television set wide-eyed and enraptured. Surely if I smoke this brand I will automatically be provided with expensive clothes, be ac- companied by handsome men on lovely walks through the park, and be mentioned regularly in the "They Were There" section of the daily newspaper. May Heaven forgive me, for I swallow this nonsense as a moron would. Ah, but I'm not the only gullible soul who gets exploited by the cigarette ads on television. My Uncle Mac likes Marlboro because the T. V. ad appeals to him. He is hen-pecked, and he has always secretly wanted a tattoo but is afraid of the pain. Mother smokes Parliament with the recessed filter because if that nasty tobacco is a quarter inch away she can be one of the girls and smoke at bridge club without ruining her health. I would wager that if Plato lived in our time even he would not be able to escape from the "drag race."
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Return this book on or before the L
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T,HE Green Caldron is published fou
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2 The Green Caldron minority of the
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4. The Green Caldron his papers in
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6 The Green Caldron TaU Girl Joan M
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8 Only Eight Seconds? Joseph E. Gud
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10 The Green Caldron Still come dir
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12 The Green Caldron to controvert
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14 The Green Caldron Suddenly the r
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16 The Green Caldron A Vision Wolfg
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18 The Green Caldron R ; and Dora,
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20 The Green Caldron through with c
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22 Where the City Ends Frederick R.
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24 The Green Caldron builder search
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26 The Green Caldron thick transom
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28 The Green Caldron I. Books BIBLI
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f E Green Caldron A MAGAZINE OF FRE
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Family Life Is for Women and Childr
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December, 1957 3 the refusal to dou
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December, 1957 THIS TV's Exploitati
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December, 1957 7 Step Aside, Mr. Be
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December, 1957 .-. since they are u
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December, 1957 MAN It Doesn't Matte
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December, 1957 13 Study. When our n
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December, 1957 Win the War Against
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December, 1957 pends upon you. You
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December, 1957 19 MAN'S Sunburst at
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December, 1957 period in "Cully's"
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December, 1957 Sandburg's retiremen
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December, 1957 25 "Carl Sandburg, G
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December, 1957 EVERY The Old Man an
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December, 1957 THE What Price Law E
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December, 1957 31 time. Sometimes t
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Rhet as Writ but if it hadn't been
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Fhe Green Caldron A MAGAZINE OF FRE
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DEAR Dear Mr. Ford Lloyd L, Lehn Rh
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March, 1958 MAN Brave New World Rae
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March, 1958 What Happened to Christ
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March, 1958 MONEY America's Staunch
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March, 1958 THE Humanity versus the
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March, 1958 11 most devastating eff
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March, 1958 13 UP The Tower James H
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March, 1958 15 I Bloomington, India
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March, 1958 issippi, Alabama, Flori
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March, 1958 LAST Escape Andrew Sedl
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March, 1958 this system it would be
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March, 1958 23 I Nothing Phoney wit
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March, 1958 25 vention at Granville
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March, 1958 27 tained a copy of the
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March, 1958 29 The total offers of
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March, 195S printed a "confession"
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The Contributors Lloyd L. Lehn—Pr
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TJ- HE Green Caldron is published f
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2 The Green Caldron one instructor
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4 The Green Caldron UPON The Little
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6 The Green Caldron occasion for a
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8 The Green Caldron spontaneity), a
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10 The Green Caldron IT A Cup of Te
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12 The Green Caldron Throughout his
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14 The Green Caldron It is hard to
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16 The Green Caldron rich, and Napo
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18 The Green Caldron jured, I turne
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20 The Green Caldron Rhet as Writ F
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Wmmmm';'im^ Fhe Green Caldron A MAG
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IN To the Class of 1958 Francis Bov
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October, 1958 THE Old John and Man
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October, 1958 5 "Sue?" The voice wa
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October, 1958 7 vent unscrupulous i
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October, 1958 9 of the very few boo
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October, 1958 11 said that he would
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October, 1958 13 as they thud again
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October, 1958 : Humble Town Refuses
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October, 1958 Alice thinks back one
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October, 1958 The Decline and Fall
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October, 1958 21 sanction of public
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October, 1958 23 the wavering souls
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October, 1958 25 the early 1860's,
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October, 1958 It is plausible that
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The Contributors FrancM Bother*—-
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_Lhe Green Caldron is published fou
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2 THE A Look at Discrimination Will
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4 The Green Caldron cation, in part
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6 The Green Caldron were also in th
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8 The Green Caldron wads it in one
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10 TJie Green Caldroji ing the diff
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12 The Green Caldron hold, however,
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14 The Green Caldron of evolution.
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16 The Green Caldron since we had p
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18 The Green Caldron After being fo
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20 The Green Caldron chances of fin
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22 The Green Caldron most forms of
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24 MOST The Triumvirate William D.
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Larry Schafer—Rushville William P
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T JLhb Green Caldron is published f
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2 The Green Caldron I arrived in th
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4 The Green Caldron swarm into fore
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6 The Green Caldron and the practic
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8 THE Saints and Sinners Joel Kapla
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10 The Green Caldron colonies were
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12 The Green Caldron no hope for an
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14 The Green Caldron in which he wa
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16 The Green Caldron troops from re
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18 The Green Caldron out on the tur
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20 The Green Caldron Jackson had th
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22 The Green Caldron Jackson found
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24 The Green Caldron Chancellorsvil
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26 The Green Caldron Walk past Mamb
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28 The Green Caldron Rhet as Writ U
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^^ ^ ^t ' ' ' -^^If^C/t ^^ HE Green
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FOR Prejudice Mary Caroline Concur
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December, 1959 3 THERE Hate Lee For
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December, 1959 5 raises doubts in h
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December, 1959 7 Been a terrific po
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December, 1959 9 I'M THROUGH . Neve
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December, 1959 11 during freshman w
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December, 1959 13 an embarrassed ha
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December, 1959 15 "whim." The disti
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December, 1959 17 Union News Bernad
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December, 1959 19 Rhet as Writ The
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THE WINNERS The following are the w
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iue, ^"- '-''^ Fhe Green Caldron A
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I The Most Significant Event in My
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March. 1960 3 The city awoke. The r
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March, 1960 5 what was it that coul
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March. 1960 7 to prevent its harm b
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March, 1960 viduals that the name "
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March, 1960 a slow stop, Cramps rel
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Marcli, 1960 13 this space, set in
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March, 1960 15 But the fire burned
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iJarch, 1960 discover, from the dip
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March, 1960 19 to stay out of the w
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mmmm^fn'X%y
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Scandal Michael Tepper Rhetoric 102
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April, 1960 3 quadrangle, the only
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April, 1960 5 Respect Kathleen E. O
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April, 1960 7 In all these escapade
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April, 1960 9 music I have heard. T
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April, 1960 11 "Kam's." As we walke
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April, 1960 13 ized medicine would
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April, 1960 15 \\F I Why Should Ame
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April, 1960 17 Ha . . Ha . . Ha . M
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April, 1960 19 Rhet as Writ You may
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AWARDS The follomng are the winners
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'.?.- [he Green Caldron A MAGAZINE
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Why We Need More Westerns THE on Te
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October, 1960 sovereign nations—I
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October, 1960 there'll be modificat
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October, 1960 7 Is this Qiarity? Is
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October, 1960 would become monotono
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October, 1960 vision that he begins
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October, 1960 13 BEING A Materialis
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October, 1960 AFTER Devoted to a Dr
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October, 1960 SENTIMENTAL WRITING M
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October, 1960 19 influence over the
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October, 1960 improved the clarity
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October, 1960 23 and Co., Schott an
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The Contributors Mary Louise Borgmo
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m"'' [he Green Caldron A MAGAZINE O
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IN My Country, Right and Wrong Denn
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December, 1960 3 I even chuckled to
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December, 1960 S how Mrs. Mitty's m
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December, 1960 MANY The College Sla
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Decetnber, 1960 some small remainin
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December, 1960 The clear, almost bi
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December, 1960 13 abhorrence to him
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December, 1960 15 A Proposal to Eli
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December, 1960 17 run-down homes. S
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December, 1960 Rhet as Writ If I ca
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The Winners The following were sele
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Page 351 and 352: IN 5632 on a Fantrip Anthony Bxirba
Page 353 and 354: March, 1961 3 Communication Equals
Page 355 and 356: March, 1961 5 TODAY Political Speak
Page 357 and 358: March, 1961 1 Testament of Beauty M
Page 359 and 360: March, 1961 attained what we have c
Page 361 and 362: March, 1961 U The Color of Red Mark
Page 363 and 364: March, 1961 13 but, says Plato, it
Page 365 and 366: March, 1961 IS The Invisible World
Page 367 and 368: March, 1961 17 The Fellows are awar
Page 369 and 370: March, 1961 19 But even if all poli
Page 371 and 372: March. 1961 21 BIBLIOGRAPHY Benet,
Page 373 and 374: March, 1961 23 Rhet as Writ Bourbon
Page 375 and 376: AWARDS The following are the winner
Page 377 and 378: HE Green Caldron A MAGAZINE OF FRES
Page 379 and 380: PITY Why I Plan to Study Latin Judi
Page 381 and 382: April, 1961 3 tennis matches and ju
Page 383 and 384: April, 1961 5 Why I Want to Be a Po
Page 385 and 386: April 1961 7 The problem with which
Page 387 and 388: April, 1961 9 underground home read
Page 389 and 390: April, 1961 sand. Deep it goes, whe
Page 391 and 392: April, 1961 13 tional appeal to the
Page 393 and 394: April, 1961 IS somewhere above. Bef
Page 395 and 396: April, 1961 17 much howling, and pr
Page 397 and 398: April, 1961 19 A Paragraph On this
Page 399 and 400: The foUowing are tli< iesae of the
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Page 405 and 406: December, 1961 3 think our way thro
Page 407 and 408: December, 1961 S Stream of water wh
Page 409 and 410: December, 1961 ON On "Death" Tim Fl
Page 411 and 412: December, 1961 9 ONE Places of Plea
Page 413 and 414: December, 1961 11 Selection. Since
Page 415 and 416: December, 1961 13 in the headlights
Page 417 and 418: December, 1961 IS IS Relativity Syl
Page 419 and 420: December, 1961 17 one, where you wi
Page 421 and 422: December, 1961 19 Nihilistic Pessim
Page 423 and 424: December, 1961 21 The main dialogue
Page 425 and 426: December, 1961 23 that, with anothe
Page 427 and 428: December, 1961 25 88-92. * Horace G
Page 429 and 430: December, 1961 27 Lately the one vi
Page 431 and 432: The Winners The following are the w
Page 433 and 434: Fhe Green Caldron A MAGAZINE OF FKE
Page 435 and 436: THE ! The Unseen Paradox Diane Beda
Page 437 and 438: Alarch, 1962 3 garden and watched G
Page 439 and 440: March, 1962 The Inner Path Barbara
Page 441 and 442: March, 1962 7 I have looked upon th
Page 443 and 444: March, 1962 , TO President Kennedy
Page 445 and 446: March, 1962 11 of art which remaine
Page 447 and 448: March, 1962 13 Canning Salmon Glenn
Page 449 and 450: March, 1962 15 entire class to slee
Page 451 and 452: March, 1962 17 to this combination.
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March, 1962 19 personal feelings. I
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March, 1962 21 style of the movemen
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March, 1962 23 This is what I gathe
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,:j,.. The Winners The followuig ar
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THERE YOU ARE. . In Your Hands Elai
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May, 1962 3 IT The Search Eloise Jo
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May, 1962 TAKE Caution! Fisherman a
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May, 1962 7 The seeker does indeed
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May, 1962 .-.9 his route. This was
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May, 1962 11 THE The Screwtape Lett
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May, 1962 13 There are three princi
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May, 1962 15 to end where they star
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May, 1962 17 Immediately I took cha
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May, 1962 19 membership in the clan
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May, 1962 21 twelve-inch boiler, wi
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May, 1962 23 Rhet as Writ Movie Hou
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The Winners The following are the w
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0^:^iy4M m UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-U
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