The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual ... - Wuala

noticed. She will also be more likely to isolate
herself from her friends and will often appear
alone. This has the effect of opening the door for an
approach. Conversely, women who aren’t interested
in romance will clump up together to gain security
in numbers which occurs fairly regularly in bars.
ONLY TOWARD YOU
An interested woman will direct the majority of her
signals toward a man of interest by looking toward
him as she performs the actions. A woman could be
displaying all the signs of interest in the world, but
if eye contact is not used to signal the intended
target then they are meaningless as indicators. A
way of testing this is by turning away slightly and
then comparing the gestures she had before to her
current gestures. If she reduces the amount of
signaling she does but then resumes interestposturing
when you turn back to face her, then you
can be more certain that she is sending them toward
you and not someone else. Be careful though; some
women may send signals to everyone in the room
except the person they have the most interest in.
Functionally, she is trying to make the approach
jealousy driven. She might also simply be
attempting to get back at an ex-boyfriend or may be
a naturally flirty person.
content to stay where she is. Once on the dance
floor, women may begin to mirror your dance
moves, which is another form of flirting. This is the
same thing that occurs during mirroring and
echoing. Want to tell if she is interested? Mirror
her body movements while dancing. If she quickly
changes to other movements, and avoids synchrony
and eye contact, then she’s probably not intimately
interested.
Both are in the sprinter’s position. They are leaning
forward with hands on their thighs. This shows an
eagerness to either leave to another location or join the
dance floor. If it was late in the night or the conversation
was escalating in intimacy, Dave could easily ask her to
leave with him.
THE RULE OF FOUR
The rule of four states that in order to be sure that
another person is unequivocally displaying nonverbal
sexual interest, four separate positive signals
must be present simultaneously and they must be
directed at you. A person who is simply sexually
aroused might display one or a great variety of cues,
but they might be generally directed toward a room
and not at anyone specifically.
Does Scarlett’s hair really need fixing? Grooming and
preening are both positive signals and so too is the hair
toss. She is drawing attention to herself and because she is
doing it in front of Dave, she wants him to notice. She will
probably proceed to shake her hair out or toss it, and may
or may not put it back up in a ponytail. Along with other
signals, she is trying to secure the man’s attention.
SHE WANTS TO DANCE
If she is dancing in her chair, she will probably
dance with just about anyone who asks her. If she
has a smile and looks to be enjoying the music or is
smiling and looking to the dance floor, take a
chance and ask her to dance. Another appeal to take
motion is when someone has their hands on the
front of their thighs near their knees in a sprinter
position. This indicates that the person is ready to
leave. If the dialogue that accompanies the gesture
is about changing locations, then you should feel
confident that she intends to do so. However, if her
arms and legs are crossed, she is probably fairly
We must also be careful of signals that are evolving
during the development of a new relationship. A
woman might initially be interested in a man and
give off positive cues of attraction, but once
communication is established, she could change her
mind and so change her postures. The impressions
we make on people are continuously changing and
so is the body language that people are emitting.
Therefore, we must be constantly measuring interest
and disinterest. We also must watch for mixed
signals. Remember that body language is a
representation of the unconscious and very often we
deal with limited and incomplete information. I
doubt that anyone would show attraction to anyone
else if their full set of flaws were showing all at
once and initially. Therefore, no signals of
seduction by a woman will ever be foolproof and
accurate as a representation of her complete
impression of someone since the impression itself is
incomplete. Impressions are fleeting and everchanging,
especially at the initial stages of a
relationship. However, since body language occurs
The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008. www.BodyLanguageProject.com Page 38