The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual ... - Wuala

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Importance should also be put on the fact that proximity norms are different in different cultures. For example, Japanese people tend to stand much closer than Americans when in conversation. This proximity could be misconstrued as a sexual advance if it took place between two cultures, but in reality it is merely a function of upbringing. The point should also be made that there is a fairly large range in levels of touching and proximity norms between cultures and also within cultures. Some people will be comfortable being close, while others might reject this proximity altogether. If you are curious to know if a woman’s proximity to you is an advance or simply her way, all you have to do is examine how she behaves around other people generally. If she is commonly a touchy-feely sort of person toward everyone, then it can be assumed that this is simply person specific and is not any sort of sexual advance. It is also true that the location of the interaction plays a big role. For example, in a crowded bar or amusement park, it would be acceptable to stand fairly close, however in an area that is more open, it might come across as imposing to be closer than necessary. Normally, one should expect that a distance which separates two people from each other’s reach would be appropriate for strangers. Sometimes this can be even further. It is not always obvious to everyone what is sufficient for proximity. The point was well made in an episode of Seinfeld with the “close talker.” The character immediately jettisoned within inches of the person he was communicating with, turning the situation awkward. As you approach a woman, be careful to measure her response. If she moves back, you are best to respect that distance and maintain it as a buffer instead of continuously trying to close the gap. As the conversation continues and the level of trust grows, you will probably notice that closeness is gradually more permitted and welcomed. Generally, comfortable distances go as follows: Intimate – touching to about 10 inches (for close friends, family, and couples) Casual-personal – 18 inches to 4 feet (informal conversation with friends) Social – 4 to 12 feet. A social distance of 12 feet might seem unlikely. However, for strangers who have never spoken, this is a comfortable distance to speak from. If you don’t believe this to be so, give it a try for yourself. The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008. www.BodyLanguageProject.com Page 5
PICTORIAL ON PERSONAL SPACE Dave is making another poor approach here by ignoring body positions and levels. He has cornered Scarlett into the booth. She is showing that she is not impressed by folding her arms across her body. She is trying to act passively confrontational by avoiding eye contact. Dave should even the planes of their bodies and resume positive dialogue as Scarlett isn’t receptive to his current advances. The tables have been turned in this situation. This illustrates the importance of body positions and levels well. Scarlett is towering over Dave making him feel subordinate and intimidated. The plane her body makes encroaches near, and possibly over, the halfway mark on the table. Dave is showing that he is being aggressed upon and is pulling his drink toward himself and trying to avoid direct eye contact by moving his chin away from her. It is evident that Scarlett is putting Dave down and asserting her position over him. These are all indicators of disinterest as she is using body language to establish control over the relationship. Dave is using body language here to his advantage. He wants to come across as non-threatening so he lowers his body height compared to hers. Using body language in this way does not necessarily mean that the man is less dominant, but it does show courtesy. Scarlett appreciates this approach and even permits him to move closer than normal with only a few inches separating her forearm and his hand. It is important to approach a woman from the front so as not to block her in or intimidate her. Whispering by either sex is a great way to force people to move into their personal space. Since Scarlett is doing the whispering, Dave could take this to mean that she is interested and wants him to move closer. The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual Body Language. 1st Edition, 2008. www.BodyLanguageProject.com Page 6
Page 2 and 3: SECTION 1 AN INTRODUCTION I’m exc
Page 4 and 5: that I could read them but they did
Page 8 and 9: Proximity as initiated by a woman i
Page 10 and 11: SECTION 3 STRATEGIES TO ESTABLISH C
Page 12 and 13: competitors in these situations, va
Page 14 and 15: You might also create a situation w
Page 16 and 17: Julie is bumping against Mark to ma
Page 18 and 19: SECTION 4 SIGNALS OF FEMALE DISINTE
Page 20 and 21: PICTORIAL ON SHOWING DISINTEREST Bo
Page 22 and 23: Both Mark and Julie are showing tha
Page 24 and 25: Here Dave is in a losing battle wit
Page 26 and 27: Both Dave and Scarlett are showing
Page 28 and 29: could be unconsciously exaggerated
Page 30 and 31: Overall, any motion a woman makes t
Page 32 and 33: vulnerable. The head tilt can also
Page 34 and 35: GROOMING AND PREENING Any grooming
Page 36 and 37: your object of affection, then when
Page 38 and 39: CHILDLIKE PLAYFULNESS A woman may b
Page 40 and 41: naturally and instantly, we can gau
Page 42 and 43: Drinking in unison and in between t
Page 44 and 45: Julie is performing the neck displa
Page 46 and 47: Scarlett is for the most part displ
Page 48 and 49: Scarlett is showing positive intere
Page 50 and 51: SECTION 6 USING BODY LANGUAGE TO GA
Page 52 and 53: planned. Don’t run about, instead
Page 54 and 55: TONALITY At least 30 percent of wha
Page 56 and 57:
EYEBALL ASSAULT Women are especiall
Page 58 and 59:
By putting his hands in his belt, D
Page 60 and 61:
uncommon to come off as creepy to a
Page 62 and 63:
TEASING AND OPPOSITE BODY LANGUAGE
Page 64 and 65:
forward against a bar or on a table
Page 66 and 67:
This is another method Mark has use
Page 68 and 69:
Here Scarlet has moved directly in
Page 70 and 71:
Mark has waited too long to speak t
Page 72 and 73:
Mark is making his discomfort evide
Page 74 and 75:
It’s a losing battle, Dave! Dave
Page 76 and 77:
does so in a flirtatious way while
Page 78 and 79:
REFERENCES Alexander, R.D. 1987. Th
Page 80 and 81:
Hess, E. year. In Kleinke, chris l,
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The Body Language Project: Dating, Attraction and Sexual ... - Wuala

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