insured

Put your writing on The Wall...
Thanks to all those who have contributed in
this issue. Due to the response we have been
getting our stock of limited edition TAG T-shirts
is running low. This could be your last chance to
get one, so get writing NOW for the next edition.
Don’t worry if they run out though as we’ll find
some other goodies to tempt you with.
Send your correspondence to:
TAG The Wall, PO Box 99, Horncastle, Lincs LN9 6LZ.
Alternatively why not send us an email?
thewall@twistngo.com
Don’t forget to include your address!
PHONEY PHONE LINES
Just wanted to complain about an advert in TAG. On the
advert was a fine example of a scantily clad female (must
have been hot in the photo studio). Underneath it read: “I
wanna stroke your mean machine” along with a phone
number. I thought I would give her ring and ask if she would
like to stroke my mean machine as I have just bought an
Aprilia Leonardo 125.
I dialled the number and this
is the somewhat strange
conversation we had:
ME: “Oh hello there,
your advert says
you would like to
stroke my
mean machine.”
LADY: “I’d love to
stroke it for you,
have you got it out?”
ME: “As a matter of fact I have, I’m cleaning it now.”
LADY: “Is it a big one?”
ME: “No bigger than an average one I suppose.”
LADY: “Have you got it in your hand now?”
ME: “It’s a bit big for that.”
LADY: “Gosh it must be a big one”
ME: “I suppose so, it makes a lovely sound.”
LADY: “I bet it does, is it hard?”
ME: “Hard? I suppose so, never really thought of it that way.”
LADY: “Are you playing with it now?”
ME: “I’ve played with it ever since I got it.”
LADY: “I bet you have, have you nearly come?”
ME: “Come? Where?”
LADY: “I don’t mind; just give it one more squeeze?”
ME: “Why would I want to do that?”
LADY: “It will make it go further.”
ME: “Oh really I’ll try that. Thanks for the tip. Bye”
Firstly I wanted to say that I did as she suggested and have
regularly squeezed it, but my scoot still only does 60mpg;
and secondly I’ve just received my phone bill and this duff
advice has cost me £25!! Andy Liddle, Castleford
Oh dear Andy we had a similar problem with a young lady who
wanted to be “taken for a ride”. She flatly refused a pillion trip
to Milton Keynes and back. On another occasion a lady who
said she “had the horn” when asked if it would fit onto an ET4
put the phone down on us! Have a T-Shirt instead.
A HELMET IN
YOUR HAND!
How about this for an interesting
gift idea? A helmet-styled computer
mouse. There’s a choice of Simpson
Super Bandits in a range of six
different colours, or this Daijiro 74.
For those un-enlightened readers out
there Daijiro was the first Japanese
minimoto world series champion. He
went on to win the All Japan GP250 class
series championship and stepped up to
race in Moto GP. He’s a bit of a hero to the
racing enthusiast.
This mouse is a replica of this champ’s
own lid who sadly lost his life on the
race track in 2003. It has a USB
connector and is optical instead of the
usual roller ball type.
It takes a bit of getting used to but does
look pretty cool sitting on the desk. It
wouldn’t take long for everyone in the office to want
one, but being a selfless bunch this one
can go to the best letter in next month’s Wall.
So get writing. Alternatively order yours at
www.designgrandprixmouse.com – prices
start from around £19.
NOVEMBER 05 7