THE INTERNATIONAL - International Indian

[ INTER-CASTE MARRIAGE ]
frozen into their parents’ history books and
left out of their contemporary lives.
Annamma exchanged her family’s stature and community for Marcus’ life of humility and simplicity
The “arranged-love-marriage” is a rapidly
growing phenomenon among urban Indians.
Parents find or approve noteworthy
candidates and then give their children the
freedom to veto them or meet via “internetcafés”
and even real cafés, leading to a
quasi-courtship.
3) The very nature of globalization heightens
the desire to return to Indian roots.
In the global conglomeration of cultures,
people yearn for communities to which
they truly belong. Prospective spouses who
value their heritage and will pass it on to
future generations are especially desirable.
4) The high divorce rate in the West,
combined with the strong Indian stigma
of divorce, makes Indians cautious of
love-matches.
The general consensus is that “love
marriages” which are often “based on
emotions” are unreliable. In an arranged
marriage, the couple is held accountable
to extended families on both sides. While
increasing pressure, this brings an enormous
level of community and family support,
decreasing the likelihood of divorce.
However there are those who don’t agree
with arranged marriages. Sunita Rodricks is a
Chicago-based Indian who still values much of
the Indian culture, but opted for a love-marriage
rather than an arranged one. In doing so, she
escaped some of the more negative aspects of
arranged marriages.
In explaining her reservations with castebased
arranged marriages, Rodricks says,
“You can live anywhere in the world and
profess to be really broadminded, but when
it comes to your kith and kin, things don’t
change. Caste matters, not just being a Hindu
but also being from the proper gotr (sect).”
She defends love-marriages like her own by
arguing that, “A love marriage is a different
matter: here the caste, skin color and dowry
don’t count. More and more people are opting
to choose their own spouses but acceptance
of such marriages is hard and takes time with
the family. ”
Simran Mathew, an Indian model living
in Dubai, couldn’t agree more. She says that
the “Caste system plays a very important
role in a Hindu family’s life. I disagree with
this whole tradition.” She continues, “To
me it’s like a family basically putting their
daughter up for sale, which is sad for a young
girl to go through. And I am sure this whole
thing goes on all over the world and not just
in Dubai where there is a huge population
of Indians. But times have changed and I
believe this generation is getting bolder, and
are voicing their opinion to the families.”
Indeed, many young people would prefer if
caste, skin color, and the dowry-system were
Caste Threatens Today’s Arranged Marriages
Like a stubborn stain on a prized carpet,
the caste system just won’t seem to wipe
off of the Indian landscape. It continues to
haunt India for generations. To illustrate, I
created two “marriage profiles” on a hightraffic
arranged marriage website, being
careful to omit my surname in order to
conceal my identity.
In the first profile I posed as a welleducated
Dalit living in the US. In the second
profile I included the same interests, physical
descriptions, and “biodata” that I used in my
Dalit profile. I changed only one detail: I
listed my caste as “Brahmin.”
My first (Dalit) profile received 23
interests in the first three days; 80% of men
who viewed my profile did not express an
interest. My second (Brahmin) profile got
hundreds of hits from around the world
within the first day. In fact, my profile
became so inundated with messages that I
quickly decided to close it down. I still had to
deal with my 23 Dalit-profile hits. I emailed
them, “Thank you for your interest in my
profile. By the way, I am listed as a Dalit. Is
this a problem for you or your family?”
No one contacted me back. Those who
had shown interest in my profile must have
not noticed my posted caste; once I pointed
it out to them they were no longer interested.
Clearly, among internet-surfing Indians, caste
still matters… a lot.
The Economics of Inter-Caste Marriages
“Matrimonials” websites like the one I used
above can easily, even unintentionally, keep
lower castes out, simply by featuring membership
rates upwards of US $100 per month.
This is more than one-month’s salary
for most Indians. As the Wall Street Journal
recently reported, the average Indian
still makes around $1000 a year. India’s
300 million Dalits largely represent this
underpaid quota.
In addition to the expenses of going
digital, the phone bills resulting from today’s
global arranged marriages can be staggering.
Thottam recounts how a young riskmanagement
consultant, who was born in
India but grew up in Singapore and found her
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