THE INTERNATIONAL - International Indian

[ LOVE STORY ]
Arranged Marriage made in
Heaven, delivered on Earth
Ram and Veena Buxani are traditionalists; and theirs was a conservative generation that
didn’t talk and think about love like we do these days. When asked to participate in this
‘love story’, their first response was, but ours wasn’t a ‘love marriage’, do we qualify? Being
married for over 42 years is a pretty good qualifier; and a glimpse into their marriage is a
privilege. Men and women chosen carefully for each other by their families, had stereotypical
roles that seemed to form a firm foundation holding a lasting relationship. Their definition
of love needs to be revived today: “Actually, the meaning of love is unconditional concern,
respect and compassion for the other. This is what Veena and I have for each other.”
[ By MOna PaRikh McnichOLaS ]
It was the year 1965. Ram Buxani’s late
elder brother, Hotan felt it was time that
he looked for a wife for his brother. He
felt that after marriage, his younger brother
would be more responsible and focused.
According to Hotan, a man was incomplete
until he is married. It is the woman who
brings meaning and confidence into his life.
After partition the Buxanis had settled down
in Baroda and the obvious choice was to find
a match in their own hometown. “Some girls
or their parents found me too fat,” remembers
Ram, “but there were times, I was the one
who declined an offer.”
After a certain amount of searching, the
family finally found a suitable match for Ram
in Pune. “Many Sindhi families, particularly
from Hyderabad Sindh, where I belonged,
had moved there after partition. So, finding
a girl for me from a good Sindhi family in
this town wasn’t a problem. It was my aunt
from my mother’s side, Pari Sabnani, who
was the matchmaker.”
Ram met Veena just once and said yes.
She was known as Janaki then. Her parents
also called her Hoori, which is derived from
Arabic, meaning a very pretty damsel. “We
Dr Ram Buxani, Executive Vice Chairman of the ITL-Cosmos Group, started working straight after his
metric exams. Always wanting to take his education to a higher level, in 2004 he received his Doctorate from the
University of Washington in the study of, ‘The Governance of Dubai, Role of Tribal Elements in the Management
of the City State’. Veena takes great pride in his many accomplishments and is his biggest fan
saw each other once, but hardly spoke. In
those days parents rarely gave that sort of
exposure to their girls. Veena’s parents were
undecided, but I had mentally concurred
with the feelings of my late elder brother
who had checked out the background of
the family thoroughly, which was the main
consideration in those days. I had work in
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THE INTERNATIONAL INDIAN