THE INTERNATIONAL - International Indian

[ PERSPECTIVE ]
Connie Hall (62) rides a motorbike for fun and to test her endurance
spots and everywhere that other(read
younger’) people go to!
Ageing In India
We quantify age according to the stages
of our lives. ‘Young’ is before marriage
– after that everything else is heading
towards dotage. When I was in my 30s, I
was told that I was ‘too old’ to wear pants
because I was already a mother of two. I was
also told that I needed to slow down and not
have such a hectic life as I did. If I had a
good figure, I was not supposed to show it
off. “Dowdy” was more like it – how could I
dream of wearing anything remotely sexy?
That was reserved for young people.
Other people, especially women, made it
a point to tell me what I should or should
not do, ‘considering my age’! I was always
polite but I paid scant attention! Clothes
were a special point for discussion. I have
always been fond of bright colors and still
love wearing them. Years ago, one lady who
was at least ten years younger than me and
was fond of wearing all the dullest shades of
brown, remarked that I was heading for my
second youth!
We are not encouraged to do things
beyond the norm. My husband and his
brothers mollycoddled their father into
staying at home and doing nothing after he
retired from his insurance job. My husband,
after he retired from the Air Force, chose
not to do anything. He claims he is happy
but I hear rumblings of “I am old and I
cannot do this or that!” On the other hand,
my husband’s younger brother who retired
from the Indian Army is now into a second
career as the owner of a Reliance gas
station and his own security company. In
fact at this stage he is able to indulge in his
nascent interest in horses – he is now the
proud owner of three horses of his own!
The bottom-line
The final word in the way we age in India
and the way people in the developed world
age is a matter of perspective.
In India, parents have always invested
in their children. The movie Baghban was
a realistic presentation of what parents
do. They spend all their money on the
education and growth of their kids. The
kids go through college and years of higher
education, before they are ready to start
earning. Kids are not encouraged to work
and study so that they can share the cost of
higher studies.
With the new found prosperity, today
retirees have a lot more money to spend.
If one is sensible, one can plan to be
comfortable for a life time. But if retirees do
not have a home ready before they retire,
they have to spend a whole lot out of their
savings to get a roof over their heads. Silvers
have to save for medical care and health
related problems. They have to be ready
for rising costs of living and be careful with
their investments.
So, all their lives, they are saving….and
saving… and saving! Many of them say,
so when do we celebrate life? By the time
they are entering their silver era, saving is
such a way of life with them that they find
it difficult to splurge even on new clothes
or shoes.
If they are traveling it is because their kids
are paying for their tickets. They may have their
own homes but the renovations and additions
are done by the next generation because the
older people find it difficult to spot anything
wrong! Even a fresh coat of paint costs so much
that it is allowed to relapse!
So we have these beautiful old bungalows
which are in a state of neglect, especially
where there are only older people living.
One can make out when the youngsters
come back to live because the exteriors get
a fresh coat of paint, the garden is cleared
of all undergrowth and the house once
again becomes a home.
According to a study done by a young
marketing executive on the cost of food
and the percentage of salary spent on food,
it was found that India has the highest – we
spend as much as 45% of our salaries on
food alone. Compare that to a paltry 10%
in the USA and 12%in UK.
The truth is that silvers in these countries
have a lot of money to spare which is why
they can afford to take off whenever they
want to. Another factor is that in their
system, kids are expected to look after
themselves when they start working, which
under normal circumstances is between 16
and 18 years of age. They like to move out
of their parents’ homes so that they can be
freer and can make their own decisions.
NRI parents are holding on to their kids for
as long as they can but peer pressures are
more powerful. So a lot like in the movie
The Namesake they are also moving on.
Maybe we in India can also learn to
celebrate in small ways. Maybe we can start
doing all those things which we had put on
hold all those years we were busy looking
after the kids – catch up with painting,
writing poetry, learning a new skill, getting
back to music lessons etc. Anything that
gives you a zest for life again.
Shyamola Khanna is a freelance writer
based in Hyderabad.
THE INTERNATIONAL INDIAN 59