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download the PDF file - Whoa is (Not)

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"...Er," said Dem. He put <strong>the</strong> most excellently tasty cheese away. Though it was most excellently tasty,it tended to d<strong>is</strong>tract him from thinking clearly. "Show a little self<strong>is</strong>hness, will you?" he said instead. "Thepoint <strong>is</strong> that those people won't necessarily die. They might still have a chance of going home. They'dget over it eventually. Whereas dead people never go home. ...Hang on a bit. Some v<strong>is</strong>ual aid migh<strong>the</strong>lp.""What-"Dem van<strong>is</strong>hed."..." said not-Tim, but before he had time to wonder if he was trapped in <strong>the</strong> room and start to panic,Dem reappeared with h<strong>is</strong> arm tight around <strong>the</strong> neck of a struggling Keanu-spawn.<strong>Not</strong>-Tim blinked. "Winston-"The teen had stopped struggling somewhat, taking relief in <strong>the</strong> warmth after <strong>the</strong> stark cold of <strong>the</strong>mountain cave. "Who are you?" he gasped out, trying to pry Dem's arm from h<strong>is</strong> neck."He's <strong>the</strong> one responsible for your life," Dem answered. "And <strong>the</strong> one who'll be responsible for yourdeath."Dem was groping in h<strong>is</strong> pocket with h<strong>is</strong> free hand, looking for h<strong>is</strong> gun. There was a heck lot of mostexcellently tasty cheese in <strong>the</strong>re. Cheese, cheese, cheese, f<strong>is</strong>hcake, cheese... ah, <strong>the</strong>re's <strong>the</strong> gun; ohcrap, that Reeves guy had just gone kung fu on him and that kind of hurt and whoa that kid could bite;and suddenly Dem felt <strong>the</strong> gun yanked out of h<strong>is</strong> grip and pointed at him.He sighed.<strong>Not</strong>-Tim shot him, h<strong>is</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r arm protectively around Winston.Dem looked at <strong>the</strong> bullet hole and shrugged. "You can't kill me," he said. "I'm immortal."<strong>Not</strong>-Tim let go of Winston and nodded. "Okay," he said with a wry smile. "Right. But I'm not. Findsomeone else to play your little game."And he shot himself in <strong>the</strong> head.'Caution: Dry Floor' read <strong>the</strong> sign that greeted not-Tim when he opened h<strong>is</strong> eyes. He stared at it, and<strong>the</strong>n at <strong>the</strong> subtitle beneath: "<strong>Not</strong> Suitable for Dead F<strong>is</strong>h".<strong>Not</strong>-Tim sat up slowly and put a hand to <strong>the</strong> spot on h<strong>is</strong> head where <strong>the</strong> bullet had entered; <strong>the</strong>re wasnothing <strong>the</strong>re now.He looked up. <strong>Not</strong> too far from him was a counter, and behind it a teenage boy engaged in anengrossing game of Icy Tower.<strong>Not</strong>-Tim got up and walked up to him. "Uh," he started, "where am I?"The teen glanced briefly at him, <strong>the</strong>n did a double take and half-fell out of h<strong>is</strong> chair, stumblingbackwards and taking with him <strong>the</strong> computer mouse and a stack of papers. He got back to h<strong>is</strong> feet,hyperventilating as he backed against <strong>the</strong> wall."Third mo<strong>the</strong>r of Zarquon," he brea<strong>the</strong>d. "It's Keanr Reeves."Then h<strong>is</strong> eyes rolled up into h<strong>is</strong> head and he fainted.'Keanr'? not-Tim wondered in puzzlement as he went behind <strong>the</strong> counter to <strong>the</strong> teen, whose nametagidentified him as Taxon. <strong>Not</strong>-Tim shook him, but Taxon was out cold.<strong>Not</strong>-Tim looked back up. On <strong>the</strong> desk was a standard short-FAQ: "Am I dead? Yes. Really? Yes.Where's <strong>the</strong> toilet? Down <strong>the</strong> corridor, third door to your left."A funny sound from <strong>the</strong> computer indicated that Taxon had just lost h<strong>is</strong> Icy Tower game. Stacked nextto <strong>the</strong> computer were a mess of dodgy-looking DVDs, including three which proudly identified<strong>the</strong>mselves as <strong>the</strong> Matirx trilogy starring Keanr Reeves.**

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