The Survivors Speak

110 • Truth & Reconciliation Commission
Shirley Waskewitch said that in Kindergarten at the Catholic school in Onion Lake,
Saskatchewan, “I learned the fear, how to be so fearful at six years old. It was instilled in
me. I was scared and fearful all the time, and that stayed with me throughout my life.” 385
At the Fort Alexander, Manitoba, school, Patrick Bruyere used to cry himself to sleep.
“There was, you know, a few nights I remember that I just, you know, cried myself to sleep,
I guess, because of, you know, wanting to see my mom
and dad. I could never figure out why we had to be in
there, you know.” 386
Ernest Barkman, who attended the Pine Creek
school, recalled, “I was really lonely and I cried a lot,
my brother who was with me said I cried a lot.” 387
Paul Dixon, who attended schools in Québec and
Ontario, described life at residential school as one of
unbearable loneliness.
You hear children crying at bedtime, you know. But
all that time, you know, you know we had to weep
silently. You were not allowed to cry, and we were Patrick Bruyere.
in fear that we, as nobody to hear us, you know.
If one child was caught crying, eh, oh, everybody was in trouble. You’d get up, and
you’d get up at the real fastest way. Now, they hit you between your legs, or pull you
out of bed by the hair, even if it was a top bunk, you know. Homesickness was your
constant companion besides hunger, loneliness, and fear. 388
Rick Gilbert said that in the junior dormitory at the Williams Lake school, children cried
themselves to sleep at the beginning of each school year.
That one kid would be lonesome and starting to cry and then pretty soon the next bed
another kid heard that and started crying and that’s how it really spread next bed and
next bed. And pretty soon almost the whole dorm was filled with kids crying because
they are, you know and then, just knowing that they’re not going to be, their mom
and dad’s not going to be coming to tell you goodnight and that things are okay. Nobody
who has, that was one thing about this school was that when you got hurt or got
beat up or something, and you started crying, nobody comforted you. You just sat in
the corner and cried and cried till you got tired of crying then you got up and carried
on with life. 389
Bob Baxter said it was hard to come up with good memories of his time at the Sioux
Lookout school. One of his strongest recollections was “the loneliness of being alone and
being away from your parents.” At night, he said, the dormitories were full of lonely children.
“I remember when the lights used to go out everybody used to cry when I first got
there, I guess being lonesome, I guess. All the kids are, he’s crying, and I guess I was crying,
too.” 390