Happiful November 2019

When, as a teenager, it
was decided that it was
time to move back to the
UK to live with my mother
– now a primary school
teacher – it meant another
massive readjustment. To
make matters worse, I had
failed the GCSEs required
to start college, so I had to
find somewhere to retake
my exams.
Anne in Nigeria, being interviewed for sickle cell awareness
I have learnt to accept that
I cannot be all things to all
people, and must live as best
I can – and only I can do that
This was a very difficult
time for me. I was in a new
place and was struggling
with my identity. Who
was I, apart from the sick
daughter/sister/friend?
This negative mindset
meant that I wasn’t taking
care of myself, so as well
as being mentally low, I
was constantly ill, creating
a damaging downward
spiral. Once again, my
education suffered, but I
achieved enough to get in
to college.
From there, things
started to improve. I got
a grant to buy a car, and
was given a disability
badge, which made life
much easier and college
more accessible. I began
to believe that I did have a
future. When I found I had
been accepted on a degree
course, I was determined
that my illness wouldn’t
hold me back.
University was a real
turning point. I came to
understand that I had to
ask for help. I realised I
had to be kind to myself,
focus on the positives, and
stop comparing myself
with others.
After leaving uni with a
2:1, I had a new sense of
purpose, and undertook
a master’s in investment
management, which I
hoped would give me a
good start for a career.
My approach to life was
slowly improving, and I
had more faith in what
I could achieve. By this
point I’d still not had a
romantic relationship,
partly because my mother
wouldn’t have approved,
but also because I was
nervous of the impact my
illness would have. Who
would want someone
whose condition has such
an impact on their life?
88 • happiful.com • November 2019