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Larks & Owls<br />
By: Susan Goldfein / Susan’s Unfiltered Wit<br />
hate morning people! The Larks. They’re<br />
I the ones who wake up happy after achieving a<br />
restful, restorative sleep, never waking even once<br />
to pee.<br />
They’re the ones who pop out of bed at 5:00 am, rush off to the<br />
gym, exercise, shower,<br />
change, grab breakfast<br />
and are at work by 8.<br />
Or, maybe they stay<br />
home, make coffee,<br />
and report to their<br />
computers to continue<br />
writing the great<br />
American novel before<br />
they’re disturbed when<br />
the slackers decide it’s<br />
time to rise.<br />
All my life I’ve<br />
struggled with<br />
morning. Even as a<br />
kid, morning was a<br />
shock. My own mother refused to come near me. To wake me for school<br />
she would shout out from the kitchen so as not to have to deal with my<br />
grumpy demeanor.<br />
As a single mom, I was on my own. Frankly, I don’t know how I did<br />
it. Two kids to get ready for school, lunches to pack, a dog to walk, and<br />
out the door by 8:15.<br />
I’m sure my lack of enthusiasm for that time of day was instrumental<br />
in their GPA failing<br />
to get them admitted<br />
to Harvard. That,<br />
and feeding them<br />
Spaghetti-Os for dinner.<br />
I used to be an Owl.<br />
I relished the evenings<br />
after the kids were<br />
asleep and the house<br />
grew quiet. This was<br />
“me” time before there<br />
was such a thing.<br />
A glass of wine,<br />
a good book, and a<br />
comfortable chair was<br />
like being on vacation.<br />
Once, I could even stay awake for the entire “Saturday Night Live.”<br />
Today I’m no longer a night person. But I’m still no friend of the<br />
morning. I have a few good hours in the middle of the day, but there’s<br />
only so much productivity one can cram into the space between 11:00<br />
and 1:00!<br />
Is there still a chance I can learn to delight in the morning? I can’t<br />
seem to sleep past 7:30 anyway.<br />
And rarely must I rush off to anywhere. Even the dog likes to sleep in.<br />
As long as I’m awake, should I at least try to be happy? Can I influence<br />
my inherent circadian rhythm?<br />
The answer is a resounding NO! An article I read recently claimed:<br />
“If you’re just not a morning person, science says you may never be.<br />
Morning people and night owls are born that way. If you’re not a<br />
morning person, it’s likely you’ll never be, at least until the effects of<br />
aging kick in.”<br />
Well, the effects of aging have kicked in. I do wake up early each day,<br />
but science is reassuring me I don’t have to like it!<br />
So much for smiley faces and cheerful chatter at 8:00 am. I shall<br />
continue to move through my morning routine in utter silence. I’ll<br />
continue to grunt at my husband as he walks into the kitchen and<br />
buries his head behind the newspaper. After years of marriage, he’s<br />
learned not to speak to me before my second cup of coffee.<br />
And thanks to that article, I can apply my self-improvement energies<br />
elsewhere where they might have a better chance of succeeding. Like,<br />
for example, flossing.<br />
26<br />
<strong>May</strong> <strong>2023</strong><br />
Susan Goldfein’s newest book, Laughing My Way Through the<br />
Third Stage, is available at Amazon.com, BN.com, Read her blog<br />
at: www.SusansUnfilteredWit.com. Email Susan: SusanGoldfein@<br />
aol.com.
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