Vegas Voice May 2023 Edition

Just Crossing That Bridge When I Come To It
By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s Voice
Not that I’m elderly or anything but being
none-of-your-business years old, I sometimes
have a teensy problem remembering things.
Not the big things - I don’t normally forget to
eat, sleep, get dressed or purchase hair
products.
It’s normally names, dates, plans,
and… where I put the dog food.
I forget to record Cake Boss, and then,
when I do record it, I usually want to make
one of the cakes he’s baking, so (and I
must do this immediately, or all thought
of cakes will be replaced with something
like why I can’t find a shorter pair of
shoelaces) I put the ingredients on my
grocery list - which remains magnetized
to the refrigerator as I wander aimlessly
through the aisles at Albertson’s.
In order to combat this creeping
oldness, I decided to learn to play Bridge, and went looking for someone
to teach me. After a long and frustrating (actually insulting) hunt, two
friends, John and Ralph, have accepted the challenge.
The fact that they are men made me hesitate. Women are ordinarily
much more patient as teachers of other women because most can
relate to the female learning curve, whereas men who teach women
notoriously begin yelling, cussing, and in some cases throwing things,
quite early in the teaching process.
So, I figured I might need earplugs,
thick skin, and possibly a helmet. But, so
far, playing Bridge has it backwards: your
regular, normal guy seems to have the
patience of a saint.
John and Ralph have been serene and
methodical as they’ve taken me and Laura
(the friend whom I talked into joining us)
through the beginner steps of Bridge.
They’ve answered our endless questions,
sometimes the same one, two or three (ok,
eleven) times, and still haven’t lost their
senses of humor. I know this because
every time I play a card with the shrewd
judgment of a monkey on crack, they just
laugh.
“Ha ha,” they say, “you’re just learning! You’ll get better!” (although
John is beginning to laugh just a tad desperately, and Ralph has
become quieter each week...like stoic...almost as if he had a bottle of
Knob Creek stashed under the table, which would explain his repeated
ducking to “tie” and “re-tie” his shoes).
Anyway, we’re coming along quite nicely, and I feel like such a grownup.
My parents played Bridge with three other couples every week while
I was growing up, and I thought it was so cool.
They had two tables and switched partners, and they all smoked and
ate peanuts and drank martinis, and I’d always sneak down the hall
to watch and dream of the day I, too, could drink a martini...it was a
magical time.
I love being able to toss off things like “no trump”, “longest and
strongest,” “major and minor”…and “Whose turn is it?” But my
favorite part about playing Bridge is being the Dummy.
I normally take offense at this, but in this context, it’s a good thing.
It means that your partner must play the whole hand himself, and you
get to “lay your cards on the table” sit back and drink your martini,
and you get all the points he/she makes, but none of the blame if it all
goes to hell! It’s fabulous!
There are many, many (and many more) things I still haven’t
learned about Bridge, and possibly never will, but hey, I can now play
a simple hand if I have to, with minimal screw-ups. John and Ralph
are thrilled.
They say we’re ready to play with others…like IMMEDIATELY. I
think I even saw tears in their eyes.
And I am much less forgetful now…so, whose turn is it?
44
May 2023
Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North
Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s
book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com.