Vegas Voice May 2023 Edition

Some Assembly Required
By: Dan Roberts / Roberts Rules
“
Damn right I’m useless.”
That was my short, annoyed, and rather
accurate reply to my Rana as she emphasized my
mechanical abilities. In my defense, she
(and everybody else that knows me) are
aware of my “challenged” skills.
My PILL (partner in love and life)
and I were spending a lovely Sunday at
Town Square last month. The sun was
shining, the birds were singing and after
a wonderful lunch, while holding hands
like young newlyweds, she suggested we
visit The Container Store.
Rana loves that place since it sells
everything you never knew you needed -
but was now a “must-have and how did
I ever live without it” necessity.
This particular item was a mobile 3 drawer file cart. And of course, it
was “exactly” what she needed.
When I went to place the item in her shopping cart, I froze. The box
stated the 3 most frightening words in my vocabulary: “Some Assembly
Required.” “Forget it” I said as I started to return it back in the aisle
“Don’t be ridiculous” my Rana confidently assured me. “We can put
it together in no-time.”
Upon returning home and while Rana carefully read the directions
(it even has diagrams, she exclaimed!) I struggled (and began using
certain words that are not fit for this publication) just to open the
cellophane packages containing the numerous screws and plastic parts.
And then the “fun” began.
As she pondered “how” and “why” about these things, Rana
eventually noticed my frustration and disgust. No doubt if she took my
blood pressure, 911 would have been dialed and an ambulance would
have been summoned.
Compounding my increasing anger as to how I got sucked into this,
my Ladylove was having her difficulties figuring out why the drawers
were not coming together as easily as she believed.
What Do
You Think?
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Did anyone get you angry, make
you think or simply put a smile
on your face? Please tell us by
forwarding your comments,
thoughts or suggestions to Publisher
Dan at: dan@thevegasvoice.net.
Oh, and it certainly didn’t help that her dogs were scampering around
the room with my transgender cat Eli deciding to plop herself/himself
(whatever) on top of the instructions pages while playfully swiping the
parts with her paws.
When she asked what “we were doing wrong” I (not so) “gently”
reminded her of my limitations. Next
thing you know, we were having a
“discussion” in not so hushed and
loving tones.
Rana thereafter mentioned her BD
(before Dan) long-ago single days when
she used to do all this stuff by herself.
I immediately suggested she return to
those days of yesteryear since I quit -
and if it was up to me, I’d grab all the
“gosh darn” pieces and chuck it in the
garbage,
I walked out of the room but to her
wonderful credit, after about 30 minutes,
she was able to figure it all out and assemble it. Not sure if the credit
is for her persistence or stubbornness but, bottom line, she got it done.
And to show readers how lucky I am to have her in my life, my Rana
even asked if I wanted to go back to the store and purchase another one
for my office. You can only imagine how fast this publisher thanked her
for the thought… and declined.
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