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Popularity Contest
Resolved, That inasmuch as "Annuals"
from the days of Noah and the Patriarchs
up to the present time alwaj^s fill up as
much blank space as possible with "Popularity
Contests";
And, inasmuch as "we" hope to assume a
worthy position among our predecessors,
being gifted with the usual amount of
spare vacuum;
We, the "Cincinnatian, 1914," declare,
forthwith, our determination to entertain
the general public with such an aforesaid
competition.
p. s.—Owing to the difficulty of deciding the "Contest" by popular
vote, due to the lamentable disposition on the part of the student
body to use argument, persuasion and blackmail in the process of
casting a ballot, a select and competent circle of judges has been
tempted to express an ojiinion on the matter, with the folloAving
results:
As to
The Most Popular—A tie between the lunch room during convocation
periods and the mirror in the girls' room.
The Most in Demand—First, the only powder rag in the room;
second, the one copj^ of the "News" at the table; third, the "makins";
fourth, an extra hair pin.
The Least Expected—0 in anj' quiz.
The First Thing in the Morning—F'irst, George sweeping the
first floor halls; second, "Barn Only!"; third, "Patricia's" girlish
laughter.
The Last Thing at Night—First, George still at work; second,
"Barn!"; third, echoes.
The Best Naturcd—First, the man with a watch who tries to
please his neighbors in class.
The Most Obliging—The man Avho's running" for an office.
J'lie Most Successful—The Taylor twins (thej' got to the top
of the Pole early in life).
The One-wifh-tlie-Most-to-Hiiii—First, Don Dearness; second,
Toodles Baehr; (there is also a certain Co-op with whose name we
are unfamiliar, but who is almost as long as Don and as wide as
Toodles).
Heard from the Most- -First, Vi; second, Pat; third, your creditors.
The Most lin|)ortant—First, Ruth Nocka; second, Clint; third,
the "Date" waiting for you at the corner.
The Most Settled—F^hst, Earl and Ruthv; second, Felton and Co.
puge two huntircd and eighty