Tell us a joke to cheer us all up. - Blog.de
Tell us a joke to cheer us all up. - Blog.de
Tell us a joke to cheer us all up. - Blog.de
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Man: My 'Old Chap' has turned orange<br />
Doc<strong>to</strong>r: You better let me have a look at it<br />
The man pulls down his tro<strong>us</strong>er and pants and shows the doc<strong>to</strong>r his 'Old Chap' and sure enough it<br />
is bright orange<br />
Doc<strong>to</strong>r: Well I have never seen one that colour before and I am not sure what <strong>to</strong> suggest; can you<br />
tell me what you do for a living?<br />
Man: I am unemployed and haven't had a job for the last 6 months.<br />
Doc<strong>to</strong>r: Oh.... well what do you do <strong>all</strong> day?<br />
Man: Not much I j<strong>us</strong>t eat Wotsits and watch porn!<br />
Chris says:<br />
I had my Cens<strong>us</strong> form returned <strong>to</strong> me <strong>to</strong>day.<br />
In answer <strong>to</strong> the question 'do you have any <strong>de</strong>pendants' I said<br />
Asylum seekers, the unemployed, illegal immigrants, Northern Rock, RBS, Portugal, Ireland, most<br />
of Eastern Europe and the cast of the Jeremy Kyle Show.<br />
Apparently this was not an acceptable answer.<br />
Frank says:<br />
A woman leaves a note <strong>to</strong> commit suici<strong>de</strong> <strong>to</strong> her friend. When the friend burst in<strong>to</strong> her apartment<br />
she saw the woman with a rope around her waist.<br />
"What are you doing?" She asked.<br />
"I couldn't breath with it round my neck!" She replied.<br />
Linda Davies says:<br />
A rabbit hopped in<strong>to</strong> the clearing in the middle of the woods, in need of a poo.<br />
He hopped on<strong>to</strong> a f<strong>all</strong>en tree next <strong>to</strong> a bear who was also taking a dump....<br />
"Morning" said the rabbit.<br />
"Morning" replied the bear.<br />
After a co<strong>up</strong>le of minutes the bear looked at the rabbit and asked "<strong>Tell</strong> me Mr Rabbit do you have<br />
problems with poo sticking <strong>to</strong> your furr?"<br />
"No" sniggered the rabbit<br />
"Good" said the bear and picked <strong>up</strong> the rabbit and wiped his arse with him.<br />
Linda Davies says:<br />
Brummy <strong>joke</strong> (needs the accent)<br />
What's the difference, right,.... 'tween a buffalo and a bison?<br />
You cant' wash your hands in a buffalo<br />
Linda Davies says:<br />
Swedish <strong>joke</strong> (needs the accent)<br />
A man walks in<strong>to</strong> a pharmacy in Swe<strong>de</strong>n....<br />
"good Mooornin', ow may I elp you?" asked the assistant<br />
"I would like <strong>to</strong> buy a <strong>de</strong>odorant please"<br />
"Certainly Sir... B<strong>all</strong> or aerosol?"<br />
"Neither ... for un<strong>de</strong>r my arms"<br />
Linda Davies says:<br />
A man goes <strong>to</strong> the doc<strong>to</strong>r complaining of a problem with his old fella.<br />
The doc<strong>to</strong>r has a quick examination of it and asks him <strong>to</strong> <strong>de</strong>scribe his sex life.<br />
"<strong>us</strong>u<strong>all</strong>y my wife wakes me <strong>up</strong> about 5 with a nice bj, and then we have sex,
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