Safety Net

Action Items for Protecting Marriages from Pornography’s
Influence
1. Ensure you are unified in your understanding and definition of what pornography
is.
2. If you are ever in doubt about the impact a particular behavior or choice will have
on your spouse or marriage, ask your partner. The answer usually becomes crystal
clear very quickly!
3. Establish an ‘exposure rule’ (e.g., within 24 hours of being accidentally exposed to
sexually explicit content, share that experience with your partner and debrief it. Don’t
let images fester).
4. Clarify boundaries around contact with members of the opposite sex (e.g., on and
offline; social networking sites, work, socially, Church, etc.).
5. Strive to articulate sexual needs and preferences with clarity, sensitivity, respect
and maturity.
6. As a couple, develop safety precautions for business/solo travel and honor them
(www.cleanhotels.com is a helpful resource for business and family travel).
7. Make your marital friendship and relationship a top priority in your life.
8. Establish media guidelines for your relationship.
9. As a couple, clarify the role and nature of marital intimacy in your relationship. If
necessary, seek professional help to negotiate differences that are causing strain on
your marriage.
10. Ask questions of one another. For example, questions like:
a. When was the first time you were exposed to
pornography and what were the circumstances
surrounding that exposure?
b. Have you ever intentionally sought out sexually explicit
material? If yes, when was the last time?
c. What are we each doing to protect ourselves from inappropriate media?
d. If either one of us ever had an issue with pornography in the
future, which steps would we agree to take in order to get help?
e. Are there any media triggers/weaknesses that you have that I should be
aware of?
f. How can we protect our marriage from evil influences?
g. What is it like to be married to me?
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