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What does “sobriety” mean? For those attending meetings of Sexaholics Anonymous, sobriety is defined as “having no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse.” (White Book, pg 191-192.) In addition, true sexual sobriety “includes progressive victory over lust[,]…the driving force behind … sexual acting out.” (White Book, pg 191-192.) Physical sobriety is not an end in itself but a means towards an end-victory over the obsession and progress in recovery….In practical terms, we stop entertaining lustful fantasy. We stop using the internet to look for pornography images….We choose a different route to avoid places where lust triggered us or we acted out…..If we are going to a business or event where we know there will be lust or sexual triggers (such as a supermarket, mall, or an airport), we call someone….If we are uncomfortable in any given situation, we simply leave…..Our sobriety becomes the most important thing each day in every circumstance. Recovery is a Spiritual Experience “We use the words spiritual in referring to that aspect of ourselves underlying and determining all our attitudes, choices, thoughts, and behavior-the very core of personality, the very heart of the person. If we can see how the addictive process involves this most fundamental aspect of our being, we will be able to understand why recovery-whatever else we make it-must be a spiritual process.” White Book Sexaholics Anonymous 82
A Road Map for Recovery, Leaving Pornography Addiction and Discovering Life Segments from April 30, 2010 By SA Lifeline Foundation by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT Director, LifeSTAR of St. George, Utah “This will be the last time” “It wasn’t as bad as other stuff I’ve seen” “It’s not like I look at it everyday” These self-reassuring statements are a small sampling of comments I hear from men who struggle with viewing pornography. They wonder if they are really addicted. Many of them hide in secrecy for years trying to resolve the unwanted behaviors on their own. The secret struggle often creates more hopelessness and feelings of powerlessness over this mysterious force that seems to keep sabotaging their best efforts. In their pain and frustration, many of them ask me the following questions: How can I tell if I am really addicted to pornography? How do I know if I really need to get help for my behavior? What’s involved in overcoming these unwanted behaviors? I will answer these questions in an attempt to outline a road map for understanding and overcoming an addiction to pornography and discovering a new way of living life. Simply stated, 1) if you want to stop the behavior, 2) but you can’t, and 3) the behaviors are causing life- damaging consequences, 4) then you’re probably addicted. It’s common to wonder if addiction only counts for those guys who look at pornography multiple times per day. While this is certainly a pattern of addiction, the definition can also apply to a much broader type of behavioral pattern. For example, I’ve worked with individuals who look at pornography only three times per year. One might look at this sporadic pattern and wonder how three viewings of pornography in one year’s time could be considered an addiction. Let’s look at what three viewings per year could do to such an individual. First, he’s going to keep his behavior a secret from others because he’s embarrassed about it. This 83
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Safety Net Resources to Protect You
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Family Safety Checklist □ Place c
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OUR Clean & Safe Media PLEDGE As a
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Action Items for Protecting our Chi
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Action Items for Protecting Marriag
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THE DANGEROUS CLIFF A Family Discus
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SUGGESTION: BEGIN YOUR DISCUSSION B
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Helps: The following articles addre
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you, as a modern parent, must also
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CyberBully Hotline Program for Scho
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Parents Beware: Facebook Can Scare
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How does Pornography Affect Teens?
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The combination of dopamine and oxy
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Page 35 and 36: For close relationships, such as a
Page 37 and 38: What does the therapist believe the
Page 39 and 40: Information for Loved Ones of Those
Page 41 and 42: Frequently Asked Questions about Po
Page 43 and 44: 7. Will discussing pornography make
Page 45 and 46: Have you experienced a “gut feeli
Page 47 and 48: 19. What if my friend or loved one
Page 49 and 50: 24. What are SA and S-Anon? Sex
Page 51 and 52: Individuals must be ready to turn a
Page 53 and 54: Responding to young children openly
Page 55 and 56: Does the therapist believe that por
Page 57 and 58: Spouses of Addicts 50. Typically, h
Page 59 and 60: 57. How do I balance my need for su
Page 61: Dating a person with an active porn
Page 65 and 66: How to Install Net Nanny Before you
Page 67 and 68: DirectTV - Parental Controls DIRECT
Page 69 and 70: MOBICIP - How to Setup Parental
Page 71 and 72: Go through the steps below to creat
Page 73 and 74: Enter a 4-digit passcode. Make
Page 75: Select TV Shows. Select the rating
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Page 80 and 81: Simply put, you have a problem if p
Page 84 and 85: secrecy is going to produce shame.
Page 86 and 87: Virtually every individual I’ve w
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Page 92 and 93: Kristy and Ben are like so many cou
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Page 98 and 99: Virtual Reality, Actual Risks Seven
Page 100 and 101: 6. You are not interested in being
Page 104: Responding to a Child's Pornography
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