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Occasional Use Versus Addiction An important question when discussing pornography use is the debate concerning where the line between occasional use and addiction should be drawn. Here are some things to ask about occasionally use of pornography. Why am I looking at pornography? Some answers to this are, “I love the rush I feel when I view pornography,” “I find it helps relieve anxiety, boredom, depression, loneliness.” Some questions worth asking yourself include: Is pornography a good way to meet your emotional needs. Everything it portrays is a lie – do you see any danger here? Do you justify actions by simply stating that you have a strong curiosity about what’s out there? Are you okay with the way women and sexuality are portrayed in pornography? Pornography is fake and ignores honest emotion and healthy intimacy. Many people have found this creates a real conflict and they become less able to connect with friends and family - have you considered that this could happen to you? Are you okay with the possibility that I could become addicted? Are you watching pornography because it fills a need for you? This is the way addictions start. Do you intend to use pornography for your whole life - after you are married, when you have children? Because pornography presents lies, distortions, and miss-programs your brain, why are you viewing it at all? Pornography presents a false, deceptive portrayal of sexuality and relationships. The information you get from viewing pornography messes up your ability to have healthy relationships. Dr. Jill Manning explained the problem with pornography use. She stated, “Pornography use is not simply a habit, it is a mood altering, belief changing, relationship damaging, addiction forming, socially harmful, spiritually deadening and life crippling practice . . .” The bottom line is that if you are viewing pornography, you are doing something which does not benefit you. It messes up your thinking, makes your vulnerable to a really destructive addiction, and changes the way you treat friends and family. Why would you do that? And if you have quit and then gone back to viewing pornography, that is the major indication of addiction. 40
Frequently Asked Questions about Pornography 1. What is pornography? Pornography is “material that is sexually explicit and intended primarily for the purpose of sexual arousal.” It may depict nudity or sexual behavior, and includes written materials such as romance novels, photographs, movies, electronic images, video games, internet chat rooms, erotic telephone conversations, music, or other media. 2. How is viewing pornography progressively addictive? Dr. Victor Cline has explained the addictive process as follows: In my experience as a sexual therapist, any individual who regularly masturbates to pornography is at risk of becoming, in time, a sexual addict, as well as conditioning himself into having a sexual deviancy and/or disturbing a bonded relationship with a spouse or girlfriend. A frequent side effect is that it also dramatically reduces his capacity to love (that is, it results in a marked dissociation of sex from friendship, affection, caring, and other normal healthy emotions and traits which help marital relationships). His sexual side becomes in a sense dehumanized. Many of them develop an “alien ego state” (or dark side), whose core is antisocial lust, devoid of most values. In time, the “high”” obtained from masturbating to pornography becomes more important than real life relationships….It makes no difference if one is an eminent physician, attorney, minister, athlete, corporate executive college president, unskilled laborer, or an average 15-year-old boy. All can be conditioned into deviancy. The process of masturbatory conditioning is inexorable and does not spontaneously remiss. The course of this illness may be slow and is nearly always hidden from view. It is usually a secret part of the man’s life, and like a cancer, it keeps growing and spreading. It rarely ever reverses itself, and it is also very difficult to treat and heal. Denial on the part of the male addict and refusal to confront the problem are typical and predictable, and this almost always leads to marital or couple disharmony, sometimes divorce and sometimes the breaking up of other intimate 41 relationships. He has summarized the progression as follows: Addiction. The person finds he compulsively views pornography. Escalation. The addicted person seeks progressively harder core pornography to get the same effect. Desensitization. Tolerance increases to progressively explicit material. Acting Out Sexually. The person seeks to act out fantasies viewed in the pornography (prostitution, adultery, etc.). 3. What are the specifics of pornography and sexual addiction? Discussing the specifics of pornography can be uncomfortable. However, it is important that priesthood leaders, parents, and spouses understand in general terms the varying levels of pornographic material and associated experiences so they know what specific questions to ask and what to be aware of. Soft-core pornography generally consists of models posing topless or nude, as is common in Playboy magazines. Hard-core porn involves images of people actually engaging in graphic sexual acts or poses. On-demand pornography is available on the internet for a cost, allowing viewers to specify the exact acts they want to see performed in front of the camera. The sexual activity available at strip clubs varies greatly depending on state laws and the level of enforcement. At strip clubs, so-called lap dancing and other such activities may involve direct physical contact with private parts of the body. Some strip clubs have private rooms where simulation sex acts take place. As the sexual addiction progresses and escalates, addicts frequently become involved in activity with prostitutes and in other unbounded sexual encounters such as anonymous sex and one-night stands. The addicts’ actions may eventually evolve into more deviant forms of sexual behavior such as the viewing of child pornography, sexual abuse of self or others, rape, and sex in the context of violence.
Page 1: Safety Net Resources to Protect You
Page 4 and 5: Family Safety Checklist □ Place c
Page 7 and 8: OUR Clean & Safe Media PLEDGE As a
Page 9 and 10: Action Items for Protecting our Chi
Page 11 and 12: Action Items for Protecting Marriag
Page 13 and 14: THE DANGEROUS CLIFF A Family Discus
Page 15 and 16: SUGGESTION: BEGIN YOUR DISCUSSION B
Page 17 and 18: Helps: The following articles addre
Page 19 and 20: you, as a modern parent, must also
Page 21 and 22: CyberBully Hotline Program for Scho
Page 23 and 24: Parents Beware: Facebook Can Scare
Page 25 and 26: How does Pornography Affect Teens?
Page 27: The combination of dopamine and oxy
Page 31 and 32: The Basics Common Misconceptions Fi
Page 33 and 34: susceptible to relapse and should t
Page 35 and 36: For close relationships, such as a
Page 37 and 38: What does the therapist believe the
Page 39: Information for Loved Ones of Those
Page 43 and 44: 7. Will discussing pornography make
Page 45 and 46: Have you experienced a “gut feeli
Page 47 and 48: 19. What if my friend or loved one
Page 49 and 50: 24. What are SA and S-Anon? Sex
Page 51 and 52: Individuals must be ready to turn a
Page 53 and 54: Responding to young children openly
Page 55 and 56: Does the therapist believe that por
Page 57 and 58: Spouses of Addicts 50. Typically, h
Page 59 and 60: 57. How do I balance my need for su
Page 61: Dating a person with an active porn
Page 65 and 66: How to Install Net Nanny Before you
Page 67 and 68: DirectTV - Parental Controls DIRECT
Page 69 and 70: MOBICIP - How to Setup Parental
Page 71 and 72: Go through the steps below to creat
Page 73 and 74: Enter a 4-digit passcode. Make
Page 75: Select TV Shows. Select the rating
Page 78 and 79: The following are Acton Items if yo
Page 80 and 81: Simply put, you have a problem if p
Page 82 and 83: What does “sobriety” mean? For
Page 84 and 85: secrecy is going to produce shame.
Page 86 and 87: Virtually every individual I’ve w
Page 88 and 89: It’s critical to maintain the sam
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The following are Acton Items if yo
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Kristy and Ben are like so many cou
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During one counseling session, it w
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I’m saying.” These types of hea
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Virtual Reality, Actual Risks Seven
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6. You are not interested in being
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The following are Acton Items if yo
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Responding to a Child's Pornography
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