Safety Net

Pornography use may eventually lead to divorce.
Statistically, fifty-five percent of divorces are related
to pornography. Nevertheless, a large number of
couples are able to find recovery and healing
through recognition of this addiction and by seeking
appropriate help. Several factors influence the
probability of healing the relationship:
The addict willingly discloses the problem and
Is completely open and honest before he is
caught
The addict chooses to get appropriate help,
including counseling and participation in a
12-Step program rather than assuming he can recover on his own
The couple has realistic expectations. Change takes time and there will usually be relapses. With good
counseling and support, however, these slips become less severe and less frequent
Both the addict and the spouse get the counseling and support they need
Many counselors recommend not making any major life decisions for at least a year. Over time, trust can be rebuilt and
the relationship can heal if both partners are willing to do their part.
For those Struggling with Pornography
Whether you are someone struggling with pornography use or
a loved one of someone who is struggling, you need to find
someone who you can talk honestly and openly with. In addition,
regular meetings with a counselor are strongly recommended.
(See The Basics: Counseling). Healing can begin, both for the
addict and the loved one, when secrecy and shame are
replaced with honesty, openness and humility.
One of the first steps along the pathway to recovery is coming out of hiding and speaking with another trusted
individual about your behavior. Most people find it challenging to tell another about their pornography habits and other
associated behaviors, but until you do, it is unlikely that you will make any real, lasting progress. Given the nature of
addiction, it is generally impossible to actually quit your behavior without the assistance of others. Once you can
admit and talk about the problem, the shame and guilt generally begin to dissipate. There is a peace and self-
acceptance that comes from openly discussing your pornography behavior with other trusted individuals. Consider
honestly discussing your behavior with a spouse, parent, religious leader or serious girlfriend/boyfriend.
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