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28. How can I find a good sponsor?<br />

Sponsors can be found at 12-­­Step meetings. Although<br />

anyone who is in recovery from a specific addiction can<br />

generally be a sponsor, it is important to find a sponsor who<br />

will work well with the individual seeking help. It is also<br />

important to remember that each sponsor offers unique<br />

insights and perspectives. At different points in the<br />

recovery process, individuals may feel a need to change<br />

sponsors. Some considerations in selecting a sponsor are<br />

included below.<br />

Sponsors ordinarily should not be related or closely<br />

associated with the individual (i.e. a spouse, partner,<br />

family member, loved one, or even close friend). They<br />

need to provide an impartial perspective. Sponsors<br />

should be emotionally and spiritually stable in their own<br />

recovery. Unless they have thoroughly worked the steps<br />

and continue to do so, they cannot provide the insight<br />

necessary to help someone else. Sponsors should be<br />

readily available, willing to accept phone calls, and<br />

encourage those they sponsor to reach out to them<br />

whenever needed. Sponsors should keep confidences<br />

and maintain the anonymity of the person they are<br />

helping. Most programs suggest that sponsors be of the<br />

same gender as the addict. This is especially important for<br />

pornography and sexual addiction. Sponsors should hold<br />

individuals to their commitments. A good sponsor is<br />

someone who is honest and calls the addict out when he or<br />

she starts minimizing commitments or slipping into<br />

addictive or enabling behaviors. Sponsors must care<br />

about the individual. Effective sponsors will listen with<br />

empathy and act out of love and a desire to help the<br />

individual they sponsor succeed.<br />

29. Which is more important: 12-­­Step support groups<br />

or professional therapy?<br />

12-­­Step groups and professional counseling are equally<br />

important to recovery. Most individuals with<br />

successful recovery spend a substantial amount of<br />

time in counseling and the 12-­­Step program. Even<br />

though 12-­­Step support will serve as the foundation for<br />

long-­­term recovery, professional treatment provides<br />

a critical component for individual and relationship<br />

healing. For most people, a multi-­­dimensional<br />

approach works best. Like a rope, the real strength is<br />

not in the individual strands, but in weaving many<br />

strands together.<br />

50<br />

A balanced recovery program will include an open-ended<br />

period of 12­Step support, individual and couples<br />

counseling, group counseling, education, proper<br />

nutrition and exercise, spirituality, and other lifestyle<br />

changes. Even though a handful of individuals and<br />

couples have apparently experienced recovery doing<br />

only one or the other, the majority of individuals and<br />

couples benefit from a multi-­­dimensional approach.<br />

30. What if there is not a good 12-­­Step group in my<br />

area?<br />

It is important to be aware of how effective the 12-Step groups<br />

are in your area at helping individuals find recovery. If you<br />

are struggling to find 12-­­Step meetings near you or would<br />

like help strengthening local groups, contact<br />

info@salifeline.org. For specific information on<br />

organizing SA meetings, visit www.sa.org. To organize S-<br />

Anon meetings, see http://www.sanon.org/default.htm.<br />

To request that a LDS PASG or Family Support Group<br />

meeting be created in your area, contact your local LDS<br />

Family Services, http://www.providentliving.org/ses/<br />

emotionalhealth/contact/1,12169,2128-­­1,00.html.<br />

31. What if the addict is a youth who is too young to<br />

attend 12-­­Step meetings?<br />

Many children and youth are now addicted to<br />

pornography. Without appropriate help, their addiction<br />

can inhibit their ability to form healthy, emotional<br />

relationships with anyone. Because of the special<br />

considerations for teens, there are no regular, public 12-<br />

Step meetings available. There are counselors who<br />

specialize in this age group. Additionally, some therapists<br />

offer group sessions specifically for youth.<br />

Protecting Against Pornography<br />

32. How can I avoid pornography?<br />

Because of the changes in the way information is<br />

disseminated through high-­­speed media, there is no way<br />

to completely avoid pornography. Accidental exposure<br />

occurs even with the best software filtering programs.<br />

There are, however, some ways to decrease exposure.<br />

The most important method is to be personally<br />

committed to self-regulation.

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