Safety Net

Simply put, you have a problem if pornography is negatively impacting your life and you are not
stopping. Many people viewing pornography, like drug users, tell themselves they can stop and their
behavior is not causing problems. However, if you tell yourself that you are not going to look at
pornography anymore and then you find yourself doing it anyway, you probably need help.
Pornography addicts return to thinking about, planning for and participating in secret behaviors that
take priority over other healthy relationships and important activities. If you think you may have a
problem, you likely do.
What do you want? Ask yourself - do I want to be struggling with this problem in ten years, or do I want
to look back on this as a painful learning experience which I haven’t visited for ten years? After you have
decided that recovery is for you, that you truly want to break the chains, the time has come for the next
questions which are closely related to the first: What am I willing to do? How far am I willing to go? In
answering these questions we come to the fundamental question at hand: How does one change from
being addicted to a person firm in recovery with years of sobriety?
What are the Stages of Pornography Addiction?
Pornography addiction is progressive. This means that in order to get the same pleasure or rush,
pornography use has to escalate. Below is the common pattern of escalation
Early exposure. Initial exposure to pictures or provocative material. The exposure
is frequently accidental or may result from general curiosity. The problem begins when the
person deliberately begins viewing pornography.
Addiction. The person keeps returning to pornography. They recognize their
activity as inappropriate, but regardless of what they resolve to do, it becomes a
regular part of their life. The user begins to depend on pornography as their main
source of ‘feeling good.’ The time spent viewing material continues to increase
despite the consequences. Periods of abstinence may be followed by periods of
binging.
Escalation. The person starts to look for more graphic material. The images they
now view might have disgusted them initially. They spend even more time looking
at pornography and thinking about it becomes consuming. They may want their
spouse to “act out” things that they have seen in pornography in their sexual
relationship
Desensitization. Eventually, the person becomes numbed to the effects of the
pornography. They are in denial about their addiction and begin to see pornography and the
sexual acts depicted as “normal” and acceptable. Even the most graphic, degrading
pornography doesn’t excite them anymore. They become desperate to feel the same thrill again
but can’t find it.
Acting out. At this point, addicts make a dangerous jump and start acting out
sexually with other people. Rather than limiting their exposure to images and
experiences on the internet, they begin to act out the sexual fantasies they have
seen. Their acting out may take the form of exhibitionism, voyeurism, promiscuity, strip
clubs, sex with minors, soliciting prostitutes, or rape.
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