WORKING AS A COORDINATOR MIDWIFE IN A TERTIARY ...

which reflects on the colleagues she is leading and in turn reflects on the atmosphere of
the delivery suite during the shift.
For Amiria, no matter how she is feeling inside, her outward focus is on safe care and
trying to keep everyone happy:
On a bad day it’s trying to juggle and keep everyone happy. The worst days are
when you feel unsafe and your practice is compromised by what’s happening
around you and knowing that you’ve just got to keep going and hope that nobody
is harmed in any way and that is really hard because sometimes at the end of a
shift you think ‘nobody died today, it’s pretty good’. That’s not a nice feeling at
all. I think you get used to it.
Raynor., et al (2005) write “human beings cannot juggle too much information at once”
(p.79). The question can be asked ‘how much is too much?’ for Amiria. There appears to
be no choice for Amiria or her colleagues who share their stories for this study about their
experiences of coordinating. Malloch and Porter- O’Grady (2005) write about
“complexity science” and describe “while the leader looks for order and symmetry in the
workplace, just beneath the surface lies the chaos and complexity that are the foundations
upon which the next order and symmetry will unfold (p.15). It is this continuous dance
between order and chaos, symmetry and complexity and leadership and systems that
guides the unfolding of the future role of the leader. To read the stark reality for Amiria
that nobody died during a shift is shocking. Like Jane, Amiria has learnt coping
mechanisms which sustain her emotionally.
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