View/Open - University of Zululand Institutional Repository

implications of his distress.
(iv) Rejection of the child
[100]
According to Van Niekerk (1987) a child can generally do very little to ensure that he
will be lovingly accepted from the outset. He might as easily be rejected, despite all
the potential that he may have. When an educator does not spontaneously accept, but
in fact rejects a child, the latter immediately feels that he is not being accepted and
is thought of as unwelcome. He then experiences insecurity and anxiety. This intuitive
knowledge eventually drives him to withdraw from the educational relationship, thus
inhibiting any true encounter.
(v) The inadequate exercise of authority
Problems furthermore arise in the child's educational situation when authority is
constantly wielded in an unsympathetic, inconsistent, loveless or dictatorial manner,
but also when no authority is exercised at all (Kotze 1972 : 55).
(2) Relations with peers
According to Vrey (1984) relations with peers become more and more important as
the child grows older. His friends are both company and a sounding-board for his voice
and opinions. Some of these opinions cannot be aired in front of adults - his views on
teachers, parents, discipline, personal problems at school, relations with the opposite
sex. etc. Such opinions must be clearly formulated before they can be aired. Various
facets of a child's relations with his peers are important for self-actualisation.
(a) Friendship
Close friendship is the most important relationship a child can form with a peer. For
the abused child friendship averts the torments of loneliness that can be experienced
even in a group. Unless there is an emotional bond of intimacy, mutual concern and