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friendliness and a true knowledge of the other person, the child's loneliness is not
relieved (Vrey 1984 : 63).
(b) Heterosexual relations
A well established sexual identity is needed before heterosexual relations can be
formed. Three overlapping phases in a child's psychosexual development can be
distinguished. Sexual identity is the first. Starting with pink or blue baby-clothes, the
child learns that he is a boy or she is a girl. The next phase is the acquisition of
masculine or feminine skills - typical behaviour that becomes automatic, such as
neatness and daintiness in girls, or playing with dolls, while boys enjoy rougher games.
The third phase is sexlinked values, knowledge and attitudes, the latter being culturally
determined to a considerable degree. Each of these developmental phases remains a
distinct component of sexual identity, which acquires a new dimension during
becoming. The boy-girl relationship is extremely important to the child's
self-actualisation and self-reliance (Vrey 1984 : 65).
(c) Social acceptance
According to Vrey (1984) the poorly-accepted child, like the abused child, is often
moody, sad, anxious and insecure. Cause and effect are closely interwoven. According
to Vrey (1984) conformity within the peer group is either implicitly or explicitly
enforced. In his eagerness to conform, the abused child may take pan in activities he
himself does not approve, such as smoking or consuming alcohol. He will conform
even if it entails a contravention of social or parental norms.
(3) Relations with welfare workers and places of safety
Helen Starke (Swan 1987) explains that as regards residential care of children, the
Child Care Act (No. 74 of 1983) is intended to apply to children removed from
parental care through the intervention of a social worker and placed in a residential
facility chosen by the social worker or designated by the Director-General. By places