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Kaufman (1978: 194) states that the abusing, emotionally immature parent may wish
to be "babied" and consequently reacts hostilely to his child's needs for nurturance.
(ii) Poor self-image
One of the most constant and recurring features of abusing parents, seems to be that
ofpoor self image, low self-esteem or inadequate self-identity. Associated with this are
feelings ofthemselves as bad, worthless, unlovable, no sense ofpersonal value and the
tendency to underrate their own capabilities. Pollock & Steele (1982 : 286) formulate
as follows: "Abusive parents have no basic firm cushion of self-esteem or awareness
of being loved and valuable to carry them through periods of stress...and they turn to
their own infant or child for the nurturing or reassurance they so sorely need to restore
this sense of self-esteem."
(ill) Emotional isolation
Abusing parents tend to be withdrawn and introspective, and find it difficult to form
meaningful relationships. The ones that they do form, are superficial often resulting
in marital discord. Mulford & Cohen (1978 : 190) state that the relationships of
neglecting parents are isolative and destructive and that they feel "isolated, alienated,
frustrated, powerless and incompetent." The inability to form close emotional
attachments means that they are unable to empathize with their children and other
people, and lead isolated lives trapped by their feelings of worthlessness.
(iv) Depressive loneliness
The depressive loneliness is not of a clinical nature, but rather a "pervasive sadness or
loneliness." Pollock & Steele (1982 : 286) in their clinical study of abusing parents,
have also found the presence of depressiveness among them.