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The abused child lives in a world where his parents make demands on him that are
not made on other children. Some of these expectations are unattainable, biologically
and cognitively, thus, leaving the child feeling worthless. He cannot do what his
parents tell him he should be able to do. He is a failure, unacceptable and
disappointing to adults. In other instances, he develops the mechanical skills to meet
the parent's demands and expectations. He is not aware that he is precocious in any
of his abilities. His successes and impressive skills are not a source of feeling good
about himself. Instead they are conceived of as being normal abilities and behaviours
for abused children like himself (Martin 1976 : 19).
The abused child is in an environment where he is expected to be sensitive to and
responsible for much of the happiness of the adults in his world. He certainly is not
to make life more difficult for the adults by demanding, asking for or wanting things.
The abused child is in a home where there are very few contacts outside his nuclear
family. His parents rarely ever have friends come in. Indeed, there is very little
laughter in his home. He has very little contact with other children. As the abused
child grows older, he is made aware that his parents do not want him to develop
relationships and liaisons outside the home - be they with peers or other adults. He
has no opportunity to see how adults other than his mother and father behave. His
parents fight a lot - he hears and sees verbal and physical hostility between the only
adults in his environment While he does not understand it, he continually gets put into
"no win" situations (Gil 1975 : 31).
The abused child, is not expected to have any joy in life. Further, he does not see any
modelling of true happiness and joy in his home. The adults around him may be
abrupt and angry, sad and depressed, distant and aloof, unfriendly and cold - but they
are not happy zestful people. The abused child senses that the world outside his home
is the same - a hostile demanding environment through which he must negotiate (Gil
1975 : 32).
The abused child may be ignored - and his basic needs neglected. He may be in a
world where the adult people pay no attention to him, so long as he does not make