Join My Cult - Original Falcon Press

Chapter 5, Grid 2
IT
The deeper I dig, the more I find what I already knew but somehow
forgot. — Aleonis De Gabrael
Listen: In 1947, Aliens landed and retroactively
fabricated a reality and culture known as “Japan” in
the world’s consciousness. The Americans bombed
“Japan,” but were unsuccessful in destroying the
(evil) Mother Hive Brain.
Mother Hive Brain moved quickly, acting through
inconspicuous agents: Japanese beetles. They are the
earth’s primary inhabitant, according to a recent
study of utmost precision, with a ratio of 4:1
(weight) and something like 10,000:1 (overall population.)
So, these (evil) little beetles spread across the
earth, destroying rose bushes, and wreaking havoc.
(NOTE: It was a group of well-armed Japanese beetles
that shot Kennedy, instigated the Vietnam war, and
controlled Ronald Reagan via remote control.) At
least, this is my current theory.
— Mugwump Jizm, senior editor
IT was an average evening in the decidedly average suburbs outside
of Philadelphia. IT was an engineered blandness, a well-constructed
picket fence, a Ford Aerostar, an overwhelming urge to purchase bigger
and better goods, a primate wonder-land, all mind-controlled by the
aliens through remote controlled Japanese beetles. (But we’ll get to that
in a moment.) IT was a half-empty box of Milk Duds, a litter-stained bus
stop, and a boy named Johny. IT was Johny, a blonde haired, rather
confused-looking boy in his late teens.
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