Join My Cult - Original Falcon Press

Rachelle: “Spirituality” is right here, right now, not something to be
held in contrast to physicality.
Bill: Beware falling objects, subliminal references, et cetera.
Anne: A neurosurgeon must wear a helmet on these premises!
INSERT REALLY BAD FAKE LAUGHTER THAT GOES ON FOR
THREE SECONDS LONGER THAN IS COMFORTABLE. SOME-
ONE ADDS A KNEE SLAP, SOMEONE ELSE WIPES A TEAR.
SLIGHT CHUCKLE. THROAT CLEARING BY ONE OF THE
MEN
Robert: (STANDS UP WITH A LOOK OF HORROR. STUMBLES
TOWARDS CAMERA.) In the Middle Ages, most people believed
tomatoes were poisonous. I tend to agree with them. I’ll tell you something
else. I worry about you, Leri. He has too many thoughts in his
head. Quite frankly, I think that it’s the bitter harvest of a seed planted by
malignant forces conspiring to appropriate “minds” as receptive as his.
Yes. Leri is acting as a conduit for these sinister, other-worldly beings.
(TAKE HIT FROM PIPE.) No one of sound mind and body would vomit
forth such lengthy, garbled crapola. Through much contemplation and
numerous acts of sexual communion with my hand, I have discovered the
identity of these nefarious bad guys. The leaders of their horde have
assumed a “human” form so “that” their filthy excrement might be more
easily massaged into the squishy brains of their victims. And they’re all
Jews. All of them. The end. Goodnight.
Anne: (IGNORING ROBERT’S OUTBURST) But haven’t you been
noticing blue a great deal? I see it everywhere.
RACHELLE WINKS
Rachelle: (Singing) Eye sea? Blue sea. You like me see blue sea. Oh
the humanity!
Robert: (STAGGERS BACK TO CHAIR, PUTS HEAD IN HANDS
AND BREATHES HEAVILY.)
Leri: We live in a world where what we know doesn’t correspond to
what we experience, and what we experience does not correspond to
what we “know” others experience. I think that’s part of the reason why
the conspiracy theory is so popular right now—because the linearminded
monkey is prone to assume that “the truth is out there” and that
someone must be pulling the strings. To be honest, I don’t believe this.
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