Join My Cult - Original Falcon Press

“Heavens no,” the doctor said, laughing, “they’re crazy though. A
sane person like you will get tangled in the webs. You have to learn, son,
how to walk before you can fly.”
Orpheus looked at him straight in the eyes, and said in an even tone
“you’re not here.”
“Play along,” the doctor said. “You’re half right. But after going up
upon the mountain, one must return.”
“So it’s okay that you’re not here?”
“Doesn’t mean we can’t have a conversation, does it?”
“No, I suppose not. I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking in
relation to time now, and how the demarcation of time into a linear progression
rather than an experiential one is absurd. My experience of time
is in spirals. Rungs relating to each other. You can feel a tugging from
each event if you look for it, and see it spreading into the future like ripples
on the surface of a pond. Corresponding future and past events
‘ring’ like glasses do in harmonic sympathy to certain pitches. Our entire
lives are previously conceived from this standpoint—but we still have
free will in the moment. …I’m just not satisfied that I’m confined in this
concrete room when I already know the rules of the game at any level. I
know I’m dreaming. I know about the spiral. Why am I still encased in
flesh? Why am I still floored when something trivial doesn’t go my way?
I am the whole, what is this trivial fragment?”
He’s taking me into a deeper state of trance with him, I think, but I
don’t feel any problem with this on a subconscious level.
“…I feel uncomfortable speaking of ‘conscious’ and ‘subconscious’
as if there’s some kind of clear distinction. One moment I’m asleep with
one kind of awareness, the next I’m dreaming awake in another. One
moment there is a ‘he,’ then I’m a ‘me.’ I can’t tell when I’m talking and
when I’m thinking to myself. There is no inside and no outside. I’m
awake when I’m asleep, and sleeping when I’m awake. Days or months
disappear without recollection and then re-emerge years later, more real
then than the first time around…”
“You are Alexi. You committed yourself to the hospital claiming that
you had come in contact with immortal intelligences that play an
intrinsic role in the unfolding of your life. You claim that all of this is
true yet you still came here, of all places. I am also told that you were
recently dumped by your girlfriend, and that—”
Orpheus looked at him with bloodshot eyes. “Oh come off it. Who are
you? Don’t play this game with me.”
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