Join My Cult - Original Falcon Press

Tears almost burst into his eyes. Partially because she was dead right,
and partially, Alexi knew, because she was dead wrong. It wasn’t as
simple as that. “I’m losing my faith, Sam. I really am.” He couldn’t keep
his overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, desperation, or frustration
from entering his usually carefully monitored voice.
“Your faith?” she asked.
“Yes. How is it that our tribe can become ‘fair weather’ so suddenly?
That people can be so fickle as this, that when I’m doing well, they ask
for my help, and I give it freely, and then when I need support…” his
voice trailed off. Something clicked in his mind, a sudden realization that
explained at least part of the situation. “Virtue is,” he said, a certain
rhetorical tone in his voice, “the most misunderstood and rare quality
these days.”
“Well, I usually can get a ride over, but not tonight—tomorrow. I
have plans tonight. I’ll bring some food, and we can just spend some
time together,” Samantha said, ignoring his last comment completely.
“I just got this feeling…call it an intuition,” Alexi said.
“What about?”
“You and Jay.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re just good friends, and you know it. I just
enjoy hanging out with him is all,” she said. Alexi listened very closely
to the quality of her voice. She may believe what she’s saying, but I
certainly don’t, he concluded. Unexplainably, his feeling of despair suddenly
turned almost into a light joy, as if the strain had become so much
that his consciousness just gave up and disconnected from the body altogether.
There was a certain fear underneath the experience, though. He
could tell that it was a bad sign. Suddenly the despair returned. “Right,
right…just my paranoia. Just do me a favor and be honest.”
“Just get better so you can come out of the house again, O.K.?”
Alexi’s face suddenly burnt red hot with desperation. All of the emotions
which he generally kept locked, chained, and barred came forth in a
series of staccato, agonizing notes of fury. “Do you have any idea how I
feel? I’ve spent months helping you and everyone else in the group. I’ve
been strong. And now it’s a time when I’m not strong, when I’m both
sick physically and mentally… Who’s got a shoulder for me, now?” He
knew he was being horribly self-indulgent, but the feelings were so true,
so dead on target, that he couldn’t ignore them any longer.
“You’ll get better. That’s all.”
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