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Join My Cult - Original Falcon Press

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“Yes, but it is the source of my anger—a lot of it. There’s really little<br />

I can do to rectify this to my satisfaction. Just for the chance, Alexi, I feel<br />

that I’d give up a lot. If I had been born female, I might never have been<br />

so full of fear, shame, anger, and self-loathing. When you drew that picture<br />

in my journal the other day, the picture of me as I could have been,<br />

you did a better job than anyone could have. And here you are, human.”<br />

Alexi stopped on his heel and turned. “As are you. Think about it.” He<br />

emphasized those last three words. Ken looked at him, one eyebrow<br />

cocked, an expression that asked “What’s your point?” Alexi shrugged<br />

and continued walking. “I do my best. Was it better that I drew it or no?<br />

The iniquity is only more apparent. Come, clear your mind of that as<br />

much as you can for tonight. We cannot turn our backs on our problems,<br />

but we may be well advised to avoid warfare on every front.”<br />

“You should listen to your own advice, my friend,” Ken said. Alexi<br />

cocked his head, acknowledging the comment as valid. “Oh, one last<br />

thing. A reiteration, really: pivotal to everything, this must work out.<br />

You said you’d be pissed if it failed, and then seemed to reconsider… I’d<br />

be gone in a flash of false mirth and empty promises. And hurt, deep<br />

down.”<br />

“That’s a heavy load for one man, Ken.”<br />

“It’s not really up to just you, so don’t feel that I’m pressuring you. I<br />

know that’s not what you need.”<br />

“Much of it is on my back regardless. There is a subtext to everything<br />

we do… that we are gathering people, preparing for something. We don’t<br />

even know what it is ourselves but we feel it so strongly that there is no<br />

doubt. But think – where is this going? How will it work? We all have a<br />

very clear picture of how we don’t fit into the present culture. We all<br />

know that the status quo of suburban white-bread America is incapable<br />

of supporting anything but robots and people who take advantage of<br />

robots. And we all know that we may only have a few generations left to<br />

decide as a species if we’re going to make the conscious decision to<br />

evolve as a people, as tribes, or if we are going to remain separated,<br />

estranged by hate, and strip the planet of life. But I see only two ways of<br />

changing any calcified system: either blowing it up or changing it from<br />

the inside, a brick at a time, using the same mechanics they do. Beating<br />

them at their own game, as they say. Violence begets violence, right…<br />

that’s not an ecological option. And I don’t think any of us are willing to<br />

play ‘their’ game—what do we really expect to happen?” He paused.<br />

“Maybe we shouldn’t focus on the ‘them’ so much, but instead look at<br />

the ‘us,’ and continue to grow so that we can spread our message far and<br />

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