fifty-shades-of-grey

“Are you kicking me out?” He raises his eyebrows at me, amused and a little dismayed.“Yes.”“Well that’s another first.” He eyes me speculatively. “So nothing you want to discussnow? About the contract.”“No.” I reply petulantly.“God, I’d like to give you a good hiding. You’d feel a lot better, and so would I.”“You can’t say things like that… I haven’t signed anything yet.”“A man can dream, Anastasia.” He leans over me and grasps my chin. “Wednesday?”he murmurs, and he kisses me lightly on my lips.“Wednesday,” I agree. “I’ll see you out. If you give me a minute.” I sit up and grab myt-shirt, pushing him out of the way. Amused and reluctant, he gets up off the bed.“Please pass me my sweat pants.”He collects them from the floor and hands them to me.“Yes, ma’am.” He’s trying unsuccessfully to hide his smile.I narrow my eyes at him as I slip the pants on. My hair is a state, and I know I’ll have toface the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition after he’s gone. Grabbing a hair tie, I walk to mybedroom door, opening it slightly checking for Kate. She is not in the living area. I thinkI can hear her on the phone in her room. Christian follows me out. During the short walkfrom bedroom to front door, my thoughts and feelings ebb and flow, transforming. I’m nolonger angry with him, I feel suddenly unbearably shy. I don’t want him to go. For thefirst time, I’m wishing he was – normal – wanting a normal relationship that doesn’t needa ten-page agreement, a flogger, and karabiners in his playroom ceiling.I open the door for him and stare down at my hands. This is the first time I have everhad sex in my home, and as sex goes, I think it was pretty damn fine. But now I feel likea receptacle – an empty vessel to be filled at his whim. My subconscious shakes her head.You wanted to run to the Heathman for sex – you had it express-delivered. She crosses herarms and taps her foot with a what-are-you-complaining-about-look on her face. Christianstops in the doorway and clasps my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. His brow creasesslightly.“You okay?” he asks tenderly as his thumb lightly caresses my bottom lip.“Yes.” I reply, though in all honesty I’m just not sure. I feel a paradigm shift. I knowthat if I do this thing with him, I will get hurt. He’s not capable, interested, or willing tooffer me any more… and I want more. Much more. The surge of jealousy I felt only momentsago tells me that I have deeper feelings for him than I have admitted to myself.“Wednesday,” he confirms, and he leans forward and kisses me softly. Somethingchanges while he’s kissing me, his lips grow more urgent against mine, his hand moves upfrom my chin and he’s holding the side of my head, his other hand on the other side. Hisbreathing accelerates. He deepens the kiss, leaning into me. I put my hands on his arms.I want to run them through his hair, but I resist, knowing that he won’t like it. He leans hisforehead against mine, his eyes closed, his voice strained.“Anastasia,” he whispers. “What are you doing to me?”“I could say the same to you,” I whisper back.Taking a deep breath, he kisses my forehead and leaves. He strolls purposefully downthe path towards his car as he runs his hand through his hair. Glancing up as he opens