fifty-shades-of-grey

“Oh, darling. I wish I could be with you. I am so sorry I missed your graduation.You’ve fallen for someone, finally. Oh, honey, men, they are so tricky. They’re a differentspecies, honey. How long have you known him?”Christian is definitely a different species… different planet.“Oh, nearly three weeks or so.”“Ana, darling, that’s no time at all. How can you possibly know someone in that kindof time frame? Just take it easy with him and keep him at arm’s length until you decidewhether he’s worthy of you.”Wow… it’s unnerving when my mother is so insightful, but she’s just too late on this.Is he worthy of me? That’s an interesting concept. I always wonder whether I am worthyof him.“Honey, you sound so unhappy. Come home – visit with us. I miss you, darling. Bobwould love to see you too. You can get some distance and maybe some perspective. Youneed a break. You’ve been working so hard.”Oh boy, is this tempting. Run away to Georgia. Grab some sunshine, some cocktails.My mother’s good humor… her loving arms.“I have two job interviews in Seattle on Monday.”“Oh, that’s wonderful news.”The door opens and Kate appears, grinning at me. Her face falls when she sees I’vebeen crying.“Mom, I have to go. I’ll think about a visit. Thank you.”“Honey, please, don’t let a man get under your skin. You’re far too young. Go andenjoy yourself.”“Yes, Mom, love you.”“Oh, Ana, I love you too, so much. Stay safe, honey.” I hang up and face Kate whoglares at me.“Has that obscenely rich fucker upset you again?”“No… sort of… err… yes.”“Just tell him to take a hike, Ana. You’ve been so up and down since you met him.I’ve never seen you like this.”The world of Katherine Kavanagh is very clear, very black and white. Not the intangible,mysterious, vague hues of gray that color my world. Welcome to my world.“Sit, let’s talk. Let’s have some wine. Oh, you’ve had champagne.” She spies thebottle. “Some good stuff too.”I smile ineffectually, looking apprehensively at the couch. I approach it with caution.Hmm… sitting.“Are you okay?”“I fell over and landed on my behind.”She doesn’t think to question my explanation, because I am one of the most un-coordinatedpeople in Washington State. I never thought I’d see that as a blessing. I sit downgingerly, pleasantly surprised that I’m okay, and turn my attention to Kate, but my mindglazes over and I’m pulled back to the Heathman – “Well, if you were mine you wouldn’tbe able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday.” He said it then, and all