fifty-shades-of-grey

I am dressed and ready when Ray arrives. I open the front door, and he’s standing on theporch in his ill-fitting suit. A warm surge of gratitude and love for this uncomplicated manstreaks through me, and I throw my arms around him in an uncharacteristic display of affection.He’s taken-aback, bemused.“Hey, Annie, I’m pleased to see you too,” he mutters as he hugs me. Setting me back,his hands on my shoulders, he looks me up and down, his brow furrowed. “You okay, kid?”“Of course, Dad, can’t a girl be pleased to see her old man?”He smiles, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners, and follows me into the living area.“You look good,” he says.“This is Kate’s dress.” I glance down at the grey chiffon halter neck dress.He frowns.“Where is Kate?”“She’s gone to campus. She’s giving a speech, so she has to be early.”“Should we head on over?”“Dad, we have half an hour. Would you like some tea? And you can tell me how everyonein Montesano is getting along. How was the drive down?”Ray pulls his car into the campus parking lot, and we follow the stream of humanity dottedwith ubiquitous black and red gowns, heading toward the sports auditorium.“Good luck, Annie. You seem awfully nervous, do you have to do anything?”Holy crap… why has Ray picked today to be so observant?“No, Dad. It’s a big day.” And I’m going to see him.“Yeah, my baby girl has gotten a degree. I’m proud of you, Annie.”“Aw… thanks Ray.” Oh I love this man.The sports auditorium is crowded. Ray has gone to sit with the other parents andwell-wishers in the raked seating, while I make my way to my seat. I’m wearing my blackgown and my cap, and I feel protected by them, anonymous. There is no one on the stageyet, but I can’t seem to steady my nerves. My heart is pounding, and my breathing is shallow.He’s here, somewhere. I wonder if Kate is talking to him, interrogating him maybe.I make my way to my seat amongst fellow students whose surnames also begin with S. Iam in the second row, affording me yet more anonymity. I glance behind me and spot Raysat up high in the bleachers. I give him a wave. He self-consciously gives me a half-wave,half-salute back. I sit and wait.The auditorium fills quickly, and the buzz of excited voices gets louder and louder. Therow of seats in front fills. On either side of me, I am joined by two girls whom I don’t knowfrom a different faculty. They’re obviously close friends and talk across me excitedly.At eleven precisely, the Chancellor appears from behind the stage, followed by thethree Vice Chancellors, and then the senior professors, all decked out in their black and redregalia. We stand and applaud our teaching staff. Some Professors nod and wave, otherslook bored. Professor Collins, my tutor and my favorite teacher, looks like he’s just fallenout of bed, as usual. Last on to the stage are Kate and Christian. Christian stands out inhis bespoke gray suit, copper highlights glinting in his hair under the auditorium lights. Helooks so serious and self-contained. As he sits, he undoes his single-breasted jacket, and I