fifty-shades-of-grey

“Erm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”“Why not?”“I was hoping for a break from all this… intensity to try and think things through.”He stares at me.“I’m too intense?”I burst out laughing.“That’s putting it mildly!”In the light of the passing street lamps, I see his lips quirk up.“Are you laughing at me, Miss Steele?”“I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Grey,” I reply with mock seriousness.“I think you dare, and I think you do laugh at me, frequently.”“You are quite funny.”“Funny?”“Oh yes.”“Funny peculiar or funny ha ha?”“Oh… a lot of one and some of the other.”“Which way round?”“I’ll leave you to figure that out.”“I’m not sure if I can figure anything out around you, Anastasia,” he says sardonically,and then continues quietly, “What do you need to think about in Georgia?”“Us,” I whisper.He stares at me, impassive.“You said you’d try,” he murmurs.“I know.”“Are you having second thoughts?”“Possibly.”He shifts as if uncomfortable.“Why?”Holy crap. How did this suddenly become such an intense and meaningful conversation?It’s been sprung on me, like an exam that I’m not prepared for. What do I say? BecauseI think I love you, and you just see me as a toy. Because I can’t touch you, becauseI’m too frightened to show you any affection in case you flinch or tell me off or worse –beat me? What can I say?I stare momentarily out of the window. The car is heading back across the bridge. Weare both shrouded in darkness, masking our thoughts and feelings, but we don’t need thenight for that.“Why, Anastasia?” Christian presses me for an answer.I shrug, trapped. I don’t want to lose him. In spite of all his demands, his need tocontrol, his scary vices. I have never felt as alive as I do now. It’s a thrill to be sitting herebeside him. He’s so unpredictable, sexy, smart, and funny. But his moods… oh – and hewants to hurt me. He says he’ll think about my reservations, but it still scares me. I closemy eyes. What can I say? Deep down I would just like more, more affection, more playfulChristian, more… love.He squeezes my hand.