fifty-shades-of-grey

Subject: Finally!Date: May 31 2011 07:30To: Anastasia SteeleAnastasiaI am annoyed that as soon as you put some distance between us, you communicateopenly and honestly with me. Why can’t you do that when we’re together?Yes, I’m rich. Get used to it. Why shouldn’t I spend money on you? We’ve told yourfather I’m your boyfriend, for heaven’s sake. Isn’t that what boyfriends do? As your Dom,I would expect you to accept whatever I spend on you with no argument. Incidentally, tellyour mother too.I don’t know how to answer your comment about feeling like a whore. I know that’s notwhat you’ve written, but it’s what you imply. I don’t know what I can say or do to eradicatethese feelings. I’d like you to have the best of everything. I work exceptionally hard,so I can spend my money as I see fit. I could buy you your heart’s desire, Anastasia, andI want to. Call it redistribution of wealth if you will. Or simply know that I would not, couldnot ever think of you in the way you described, and I’m angry that’s how you perceiveyourself. For such a bright, witty, beautiful young woman you have some real self-esteemissues, and I have a half a mind to make an appointment for you with Dr. Flynn.I apologize for frightening you. I find the thought of instilling fear in you abhorrent. Doyou really think I’d let you travel in the hold? I offered you my private jet for heaven’ssake. Yes it was a joke, a poor one obviously. However, the fact is – the thought of youbound and gagged turns me on (this is not a joke – it’s true). I can lose the crate – cratesdo nothing for me. I know you have issues with gagging, we’ve talked about that and if/when I do gag you, we’ll discuss it. What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/subrelationships it is the sub that has all the power. That’s you. I’ll repeat this – you are theone with all the power. Not I. In the boathouse you said no. I can’t touch you if you sayno – that’s why we have an agreement – what you will and won’t do. If we try things andyou don’t like them, we can revise the agreement. It’s up to you – not me. And if youdon’t want to be bound and gagged in a crate, then it won’t happen.I want to share my lifestyle with you. I have never wanted anything so much. Frankly I’min awe of you, that one so innocent would be willing to try. That says more to me thanyou could ever know. You fail to see I am caught in your spell, too, even though I havetold you this countless times. I don’t want to lose you. I am nervous that you’ve flownthree thousand miles to get away from me for a few days, because you can’t think clearlyaround me. It’s the same for me Anastasia. My reason vanishes when we’re together –that’s the depth of my feeling for you.I understand your trepidation. I did try to stay away from you; I knew you were inexperienced,though I would never have pursued you if I had known exactly how innocent youwere – and yet you still manage to disarm me completely in a way that nobody has before.Your email for example: I have read and re-read it countless times trying to understandyour point of view. Three months is an arbitrary amount of time. We could make itsix months, a year? How long do you want it to be? What would make you comfortable?Tell me.I understand that this is a huge leap of faith for you. I have to earn your trust, but by thesame token, you have to communicate with me when I am failing to do this. You seemso strong and self-contained, and then I read what you’ve written here, and I see anotherside to you. We have to guide each other Anastasia, and I can only take my cues fromyou. You have to be honest with me, and we have to both find a way to make this arrangementwork.You worry about not being submissive. Well maybe that’s true. Having said that, the only