Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

the most ridiculous plan I’ve ever heard. You should stop all your ploys trying to get me
into Tyersall Park. It’s only going to make things worse. I’ve actually made my peace with
the whole situation. I came to Singapore, I offered to visit Ah Ma. If she doesn’t want to
see me, I’ll get over it. At least I tried.”
Eleanor wasn’t listening to him. Instead, her eyes narrowed as a new thought entered
her head. “Don’t tell me…hmm…Nicky, are you…how do they say it…robbing banks?”
Nick furrowed his brow in confusion. “Robbing banks? What do you mean? I do all my
banking online these days, Mum.”
“Aiyah, when was the last time you went to see the doctor? Do you have a good
urologist in New York?” Eleanor demanded.
Philip chuckled, realizing what his wife was talking about. “She means shooting blanks,
Nicky.”
“Yes, yes, shooting blanks! Have you ever checked your sperm count? You used to play
around with so many girls when you were younger, maybe you used all your good sperm
up.”
“Oh my God, Mum. Oh my God.” Nick put his hand to his forehead and shook his head,
completely mortified.
“Don’t ‘oh my God’ me. I’m dead serious,” Eleanor said indignantly as she chewed.
Nick got up from the table in a huff. “I’m not going to answer any more of these
questions. It’s so weird and inappropriate! And don’t you dare bring any of this up with
Rachel either. Have some respect for our privacy!”
“Okay lah, okay lah. Don’t be so sensitive. I wish we hadn’t sent you to school in
England, I don’t know what kind of man they turned you into over there. Everything is so
private-private with you, even medical issues. You’re my son—I’ve watched your nannies
change your diapers, you know! Now, aren’t you going to eat any of the food we bought?
The chwee kueh is extra good today,” Eleanor said.
“Not only have I completely lost my appetite but I’m going to meet Astrid for
breakfast.”
“Aiyah, that poor girl. Did you read the latest gossip this morning?”
“No, Mum. I don’t pay attention to silly gossip,” Nick replied as he stormed out.
* Women of Eleanor’s generation—especially God-fearing MGS girls like Eleanor—were brought up using this quaint
term for condoms.