Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

Indonesia is the reason the Earl and Countess have been spending so much time in these parts of
late. The Earl, a renowned environmental activist, and the Countess actually met there. “I was a bit adrift,
traveling to various spa resorts on my own for a few months,” the Countess admits. “By chance I met
Lucien in Bali, and he told me that he was on the way to a remote part of North Sumatra. I decided on a
whim to follow him.”
It was a decision that changed her life forever. “Lucien brought me to an orangutan rescue center, and
it was my first exposure to the terrible environmental tragedy that’s been unfolding here. Sumatran
orangutans are classified as ‘critically endangered,’ and the population is being decimated, along with
scores of other species, because of deforestation and illegal poaching. Infant orangutans are being sold
to the pet trade, and the way they do this is by killing the mother first. For every baby orangutan sold, it’s
estimated that six to eight adult orangutans die in the process of capturing them. Can you imagine?” the
Countess says, her normally pearl-white complexion flushed with fury.
What she witnessed those first weeks in Sumatra has given the Countess a singular mission in life: to
spread awareness of this environmental tragedy and to advocate for change. “People talk about the
Amazon, but it’s horrific what’s being done in this part of Southeast Asia. The main culprit is the palm oil
industry. Everyone should stop consuming products that contain palm oil! In the quest for more land to
create more palm oil plantations, ancient forests are being burned down, destroyed completely, and we
are losing so many species that will never be seen again. Orangutans, one of our planet’s most precious
animals, could be extinct in the wild within 25 years,” the Countess says with tears in her eyes.
“And beyond this, look at what the massive bushfires and deforestation have done environmentally to
the region—look what it’s doing to the air quality right here in Singapore. You can feel the effects of these
forest fires right now if you just take a deep breath!”
At this point in the interview, the Countess’s husband walks out onto the terrace to join us. He is a tall,
blindingly handsome blond fellow who immediately reminds me of Westley from The Princess Bride. I’m
surprised by how down-to-earth the Earl is, and when he talks about his new wife, his face lights up like
a lovestruck teen. “Colette’s dedication to the orangutan babies—how she handled them, how she
wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and really just give her all to the cause—really surprised me. It one
hundred percent made me fall in love with her. I knew I had found my eco-warrior princess, and after our
time together at the camp, I never wanted to let her go.”
“Our mission is just beginning. There’s just so much to do, and that’s why we’ve decided to move to
Singapore for the next few years,” the Countess reveals. “This will be an excellent base for our work all
over the region,” the Earl chimes in.
Are the Earl and Countess going to commandeer one of Singapore’s toniest properties? “I don’t know
if we’ll actually be here all that much, so I think we’ll just lease a little flat someplace very central,” the
Countess says. In case you are misled into thinking that the Pallisers have completely hidden away their
ermine robes and tiaras in favor of cargo pants and Tevas, Colette reveals that she is in the midst of
organizing an event that will no doubt send every reader of this article scrambling for their best jewels.
“I’m going to host a fund-raising ball in aid of orangutan rescue with my friends the Duchess of
Oxbridge and Cornelia Guest. Both of them are dedicated conservationists doing such amazing rescue
work with animals—Alice with endangered sea turtles, and Cornelia with miniature horses. Hopefully
we’ll have friends from all over the world jetting in for a ball that will be inspired by Marie-Hélène de
Rothschild’s legendary Proust Ball at Château Ferrières.”
If history is to be repeated again, the enchanted evening promises to be the most highly anticipated
gala of the spring charity season, and hopefully, it’s the start of many good things to come from this
gorgeous, aristocratic, and conscious couple.
When he was done reading, Oliver immediately called Violet Poon at Tattle. “Can you
please explain why there’s a fucking monkey on the cover of your magazine this month
instead of Kitty Bing?”
“Oh Oliver, I was going to call you! It was a last-minute mandate that came from my
boss. They’re running this cover story on every edition of Tattle around the world this
month. It’s such an important story.”
“So what happens to Kitty’s important story?”