Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

this life. Paper mansions, Ferraris, iPads, Gucci bags. *3 But the paper mansions are
usually quite small—like dollhouses. Eddie, of course, has to do everything to the
extreme,” Oliver noted as Eddie walked around the three-story house excitedly showing
off all the objects he had commissioned.
“Check out her closet—I had some little dresses made in her favorite lotus silk. And I
even had them make exact replicas of Hermès Birkin bags, so Ah Ma will have a good
selection of handbags to use in heaven!”
The family members stared at the structure in stunned silence. Finally, Eddie’s mother
said, “Mummy would never use an Hermès handbag. She never carried a handbag—her
lady’s maids held everything for her.”
Eddie glared at his mother angrily. “Ugh! You just don’t get it, do you? I know she
wouldn’t normally carry an Hermès. I’m trying to give Ah Ma the best of everything,
that’s all.”
“It’s very impressive, Eddie. Mummy would have been touched,” Catherine said, trying
to be diplomatic.
Victoria suddenly piped up. “No, no, this is all wrong. It’s incredibly tasteless, and
what’s more, it’s extremely un-Christian.”
“Auntie Victoria, this is a Chinese tradition—it has nothing to do with religion,” Eddie
argued.
Victoria shook her head in fury. “I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense! We
Christians do not require worldly things in the kingdom of heaven! Remove this
monstrosity at once!”
“Do you know how much I spent on this mansion? This cost me over a quarter of a
million dollars! We are burning it, and we are burning it now!” Eddie shouted back as he
gave Kaspar the signal.
“Wolfgang! Juergen! Helmut! Schatzi! Entzündet das Feuer!” Kaspar commanded.
The Aryan minions dashed around the structure, dousing it with kerosene, and Eddie
theatrically flicked a long matchstick and held it high for all to see.
“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare burn it on this property! It’s satanic, I tell you!”
Victoria screamed, as she ran up to Eddie and began trying to wrestle the burning
matchstick out of his hand. Eddie lobbed the match onto the structure and it ignited
instantly, the force of the flames billowing outward suddenly and almost singeing both
their heads.
As the enormous replica of Tyersall Park began to be consumed by the fire, all the
guests streamed out of the house and surrounded it like a bonfire, taking out their phones
and snapping photos. Eddie stared in triumphant silence at the burning house, while
Victoria sobbed on the shoulder of the president of China. Cassian, Jake, Augustine, and
Kalliste ran around the structure gleefully.
“It’s actually rather beautiful, isn’t it?” Rachel said as Nick came up behind her,
wrapping her in his arms as they stared at the fire together.
“It is. I have to agree with Eddie this time—I think Ah Ma would have enjoyed this. And